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Daisy

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LoveBug
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since 01-08-2000
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0 posted 01-09-2003 08:55 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LoveBug

What can save a daisy that is tramped upon the ground?
With leaves crushed beneath the careless feet of passers-by
To fuse bruised petals to a stem that no one here had found
Beneath the mud that was ingrained on her without a cry

None, you say, can make the daisy come as new again
She will decay until she’s gone without a trace upon the ground
No trace of fragrance lingers there, no, nor a trace of sin
No trace of little childish songs, she’ll die without a sound…

What can save a daisy that is tramped upon the ground?

The sun said, “I shall shine upon this little daisy here
Perhaps my rays will perk her up, will make her sit and smile
My warmth will make her sit straight up, to make her gather near
My light to soak all things I give. She’ll sit up in awhile!”

But the sun shone upon the little daisy, but there was no avail
The rays were harsh and dried her up, her green leaves turned to brown…

What can save a daisy that is tramped upon the ground?

The rain said, “I will come and pour my life upon her head
I’ll fill her tender shoots and made her stand up straight and tall
Then none will ever think that she would ever pass for dead
Water is the substance of all living, after all!”

But the rain came down upon the shoot, but there was no avail
No evidence of living in the daisy could be found

What can save a daisy that is tramped upon the ground?

The rosebush saw the daisy that was tramped upon the ground
He saw that none could help this life, though the sun and rain had tried
He said “This daisy here can’t live as once she did in this old ground
But I can give her life, I can restore her life!” he cried

So the rosebush stood over the daisy… he took a breath… and died

The sun and rain and all of nature cried out to the sky
Oh, never had Heaven and Earth heard such a mournful, saddening cry!
The soil couldn’t sustain her life, so the rosebush died for her!
Though roses are much more beautiful than plain daisies, as you learn

The sun and rain and all of nature watched the stony plot
To see the daisy stand and grow from the place where she had laid
But alas, not a thing grew up from the wretched little spot
“What a waste of beautiful life” were the words the sun had said…

But then, they saw a little sprout pop up from ‘neath the ground!
Then two! They grew and opened up and smiled without a care
But not a daisy anymore was growing to be found
Two big, wonderful rosebushes were standing, blooming there…



Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ

[This message has been edited by LoveBug (01-09-2003 08:58 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


1 posted 01-10-2003 11:01 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Heavy into the symbolism now, are we Erica?  

I really, really enjoyed reading this.  You said you wanted me to come in here and tear up your meter and rhyme, right?  Not going to happen.     I noticed a few things that made evident how new you are to metered poetry (like your almost overuse of the word "without"), but that didn't take away from the power and message of this poem.  It's full of intrigue and depth... I read on eagerly, awaiting the conclusion and trying to predict what it might be.

I didn't even realize this was about Christ until I was done, and you said, two beautiful rosebushes sprouted up, instead of a daisy.  Then I looked back over it and let out a big "ohhhh" that won me stares in my computer lab.

This is very well written, Erica.  You're really improving, it's so good to see this caliber of poetry from you.  Keep up the great work, girl.  

Brian

It's amazing the effect ice can have on the world.
~Allysa

knightlyshadows
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since 04-14-2001
Posts 950
obscured vision


2 posted 01-11-2003 07:04 PM       View Profile for knightlyshadows   Email knightlyshadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for knightlyshadows

You know you loved all that attention, Brian.

Erica! This was just beautiful and very well written, dear. heh The first mentioning of the rosebush and I figured it was going to be about Christ. I loved all the images and symbolisms you used in this. Did I say this was well written? It's one of the better works I've read along this subject matter. Great flow and rhyme scheme as well. It all just fit well... -Really- enjoyed this read. ^^
quote:
So the rosebush stood over the daisy… he took a breath… and died

The sun and rain and all of nature cried out to the sky
Oh, never had Heaven and Earth heard such a mournful, saddening cry!
The soil couldn’t sustain her life, so the rosebush died for her!
Though roses are much more beautiful than plain daisies, as you learn


“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

..You can't fight the tears that aren't coming..

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (01-11-2003 07:05 PM).]

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


3 posted 04-23-2004 02:15 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Thought I'd add this to my library.

You're gifted.
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


4 posted 04-23-2004 02:15 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

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