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Passions in Poetry

Exploding suns

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bsquirrel
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0 posted 01-06-2003 05:10 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

Pummeling red-purple beauty.
One thousand sunsets
hit the sunrise.

Grabbing with fists
the ashing wind.

Razors melt the wall.
© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 01-06-2003 09:44 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

spare
oh spare me
from the tedium
of footsteps
painted on a floor.

This is not a dance of joy.
This is mockery.
I wake, and I'm alive again
to find me robbed
of life.

Ask Alice
'bout the looking glass.
Ask Alice
which is real...



LoveBug
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2 posted 01-06-2003 09:59 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Hmm... a nice piece... you do well with the short free-form thing.

"One thousand sunsets
hit the sunrise."

I really liked that line.. it seemed kind of pessimistic to me, like for one beginning, there are thousands of endings. That's me though.

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ

Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
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Transylconia, Winnipeg


3 posted 01-07-2003 08:59 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I'm with Erica.  What I got from this was profoundness of defeat.  The images you use, as usual, are curious... I find myself wondering why you chose them.  "Razors melt the wall" suggests a gradual destruction, while "exploding suns" suggests a sudden one.  I find this difficult to understand...

Nothing bad to say, of course... I get the big picture, but your images confuse me a little.  

Parasite

It's amazing the effect ice can have on the world.
~Allysa

bsquirrel
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4 posted 01-07-2003 11:50 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Two things inspired this, but I'll share one.

At a party this weekend, someone was saying how some construction workers were at a neighbor's house to take out a wall. One of the kids was dumbfounded to find an "old-style" mirror with the drawer for razors, and about a hundred razors behind the wall, since many had fallen out of the drawer.

Of course, the person had to resist the urge to say "Been there, done that, shaved my legs with 'em," because the kid was 18 and was truly dumbfounded that razors could be in a mirror, much less the wall.

So that's where that last line comes from, anyway.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (01-07-2003 11:51 AM).]

Local Parasite
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5 posted 01-07-2003 01:47 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Oh, and all this time I just thought you were creative.  Shows what I know.  
bsquirrel
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6 posted 01-07-2003 03:55 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Whatever gave you THAT idea?
 
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