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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2002-12-06 06:39 PM


I asked Merlin
From whence comes
This fog, that lies
So close and thick?

He smiled and
Pointed with chin
To the North.

"In winter,
When the days shorten
To barely leave room
For sunlight to stoop
Through days door,
Chill creeps about
In thief like passing
Unseen but felt."

"Tonight,"
Merlin whispered,
"She is seen."

I gathered cloak
And thought of the ways
You too had crept into my night


[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (12-06-2002 06:51 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-12-06 07:07 PM


Ooo, I like this side of your work, Ron. Interesting imagery, and like how the woman is the warmth AND the cold.

Much better than my revision of an oldie -- Gray rain.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2002-12-06 07:09 PM


thnaks mikey... I sometimes wander off into a use of classical figure or imagery and or even speach... always tended to stay away from merlin... so often done and so often not taken for symbolically.

sure wish I could spell.. (laughing)

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2002-12-06 08:01 PM


Ron

A bit different, but still you catch a person and feelings within the imagery of nature.  I love how you do that!

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2002-12-06 08:13 PM


yes Martie it is a bit different for me... an older one actually written if I remember correctly... from a phrase someone threw out for writing... not one of my prouder moments here... ( laughing)
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
5 posted 2002-12-06 09:23 PM


I love the use of Merlin... particularly when you said "pointed with chin."  It's that kind of thing that you do while you read it, ya know?  Like when you're reading a book and it said "she half-coughed, half-laughed" and you stop and do it yourself before you go on...   hope I'm not the only one... heh.

The end is a bit of a twist, which I appreciate.  I was wondering where the poem was headed and then you used it as an extended comparison with a briefly mentioned subject.

Very nice, Ron.  I really like this poem.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
6 posted 2002-12-06 09:36 PM



hmmm. lets see,
where do i begin..........

whence?  are you british?

in thief?

gathered cloak?

well, you asked for it........
otherwise, i kind of liked it


Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
7 posted 2002-12-23 10:42 PM


"When the days shorten
To barely leave room
For sunlight to stoop
Through days door," -- I absolutely love that phrase.  It really stuck out to me.  Exellent poetry here, truly excellent.

*Krista Knutson*

"If we have no peace, it is because we've forgotten that we belong to each other." ~Mother Teresa

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

8 posted 2002-12-28 12:37 PM


Hehehe, this is a neat one.  I love these mystical poems that end up personifying events through other characters referred to by the speaker.  

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

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