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Passions in Poetry

Valley graves

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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 12-03-2002 06:37 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

I read the poetry of stone,
etched by hands to suit the clay.
The trees are wet within the rain.
The sky is gray and cracking stone.

I read the poetry of clay
within puddles on the stone.
The rain had first dropped from the trees,
then its shadows turned to clay.

I read the poetry of rain
on the tree here smeared with clay.
Black leaves lay among the stone
from a flower torn by rain.

I will walk beyond the trees.
Puddles kneel beside your stone.
Fashioned fast, these names in clay
do bake and crack and speak the rain.
© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


1 posted 12-03-2002 06:42 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

mikey...love the sounds in this one..and the images just seem to grow on you as you read...

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


2 posted 12-03-2002 06:51 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, Ron. It started with an image of someone kneeling to read a gravestone, and strangely, it turned into this, with lots of end-word repetition. I'm glad you enjoyed.
Local Parasite
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Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


3 posted 12-03-2002 10:04 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Very interesting format.  Reminds me of some kind of cropped and mixed-around Sestina style.  Are you a fan of Sestinas?  I like the choice of words you used to repeat themselves in this piece, they kind of went into one another.  Stone, to clay (wet stone), to rain.

Nice work, Mikey.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

banburycross
Senior Member
since 03-27-2001
Posts 1087
viginia


4 posted 12-05-2002 03:20 PM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

i too like the words you choose to repeat in this poem, how they are all interrelated and give the poem an earthy quality.  a very interesting read

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


5 posted 12-05-2002 07:17 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Parasite, yes, I've grappled with sestinas, and lost -- thrillingly! This poem features some form of my own meandering. Maybe it already exists in another state, modified and named precisely.

banburycross, thanks.
 
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