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Holiday Greetings
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Holiday Greetings |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
It wasn’t the first snow But it was bigger than the others And enough for me to want A warm room and a few beers To ride it out rather than It riding me off some deserted New Mexico ditch. The lights were on in the cantina And outside were a couple of Road slushed pickups that still steamed When the heavy wet hit the hood, So I figured it would do For the few cold ones and that later I’d go back to the mud flat motel I saw on the way in and find a warm Or at least tepid, room. I shouldn’t have been surprised To see Jake sitting there A smile on his face as he flirted With the waitress wearing A low cut sweater. She was Jake’s type. Meaning she was a woman With a wave of his hand He motioned me over, Whispered something in the waitress’s ear And slapped her behind as she walked off. I sat across from him with neither of us Offering more than a “how you been?” His eyes were older than I remembered, And his smile a little more forced, When he finally asked,” Seen Her?” I shook my head no and sipped on the beer The waitress had brought to the table Without my asking. ‘Well,” he said,” it is the holiays.” “You know she hates them.” I listened not sure where he was heading. But curious now not because of her But because I had never seen him Quite this way before. “I talked to her a couple weeks ago.” He continued. “she mentioned you and asked if ever saw you.” He paused here and sipped on his beer Looking off towards to window As if half expecting a ghost to appear In the swirl of snow outside. “Well, if you talk to her again,” I said, “tell her I still don’t dance.” Jake chuckled as he tipped his beer And I grinned in spite of myself. “What time this joint close?” I asked, thinking I should make sure I got that room before it was too late And I ended up sleeping in the cab Of my old truck. “Well, seeing as how I own it, guess it doesn’t have to.” He replied with a grin. “Tomorrows Thanksgiving you know,” “why not hold over here with me?” “We’ll get Juanita here to cook us up something Mex, drink a few beers and catch up.” I thanked him for the offer But lied and told him I had to be in Arizona Come tomorrow noon. “Maybe next year.” [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (11-27-2002 02:14 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
ah...aha! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Well written, as always. I could see and hear this one, and it rang true to scenes I think I've seen before. You're a great storyteller! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Nice work. The title gave away that it was his bar, I dunno, you could have made it different or something maybe... What's with all the story poems with waitresses in them lately... this the second I've seen today, heh... I might have to play with this theme a little bit myself.  Great work Ron... no criticism. Parasite Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sunshine..small edit on my part.. I forgot myself. ( chuckling) Midnight.. thank you for the complement. glad you could relate to and enjoy LP... None? must mean you have given up on me.. ( grinning) Title..poor choice I agree. was playing with a couple but nothing stuck. since it is based on along old story line I have been writing for a number of years...it became harder for some reason to title it. Perhaps simply; Holiday Greetings you'd have to read the whole series to understand that...and I assure you it is not worth it.. thanks everyone! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Aha! aw.... it was a nice Freudian slip while it lasted... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
aren't freudian slips the topic of another conversation over in discussion? ( chuckling) perhaps the whole is a slip.... just one of those days my friend... one of those days... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I really like this...we should rent an RV and travel around the country to get some inspiration...Thanksgiving in Arizona? That's ME!!! LOL |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thank MsDevine. I think to truly see the side I am trying to write about we would also have ot make changes in what we do for a living and embrace a lifestyle I for one am not sure I'm tough enough to handle anymore... but traveling is always fun...I enjoy the observing of people and ways..then making my own little stories up about them... AZ and Turkey day.... hope yours was pleasant! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This had that feel of a lone stranger riding into town...kind of the tone of a Clint Eastwood movie.  ?I'm always happy to read your writes about Iambe, even when you are trying to avoid her. Tip o the hat, cap! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
eastwood? hmmm.... food for thought I guess. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I read this over a couple times, and concluded that the reason i like this so much is because it reminds me of my grandfather, who liked nothing better than to find a small bar well suited to country music and good food. I could really see the place you describe in this and it gave me some nice memories of sitting with him and talking about life. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
glad you liked... it is actually related to whole series of pieces I did based on Iambe, a fictional woman that was an obsession for the lead character in this until he left her. I've been in those small bars as well and seen the people, listened to them talk, and tried to use what I remembered to paint the scene... I'm glad to know I succeeded in some way doing so. thanks for the words... |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Very enjoyable. ^_^ Hey, one piece I was a little unsure of though: "“she mentioned you and asked if ever saw you.”" is there a word missing here by an chance? Anyway, you have some great imagery in this -Lynne |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
you are correct there is a word missing ( laughing) Thanks for pointing it out and for dropping in... ( note to self..self...proof read your work closer) |
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