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Sanctity

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Cpat Hair
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since 06-05-2001
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0 posted 11-26-2002 11:13 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Cpat Hair


You were my lust.

Shadows of you stalked my groin
Dimming painted wings
Of all that might have been Holy
With deceptions of love
When it was the fruit of you I wanted
To devour
To sweep onto hard stone steps
With twisted desire of entry
In those places some revere as a temple
Then flounder as fish out of water
When faced with true lust

Shave your head in regretful mourning
For no cloak of sanctity
Will act as burial shroud
For the urges inside you.

You are my lustů
And that cross you must bare
© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 11-26-2002 11:21 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I see...

smiling.

I love the way you leave conclusions to your readers. I can see the "you" here both as an actual person being addressed, and as an aspect of self.

Touche' Captain.

Cpat Hair
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2 posted 11-26-2002 11:39 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

conclusions are important..and leading a reader to draw a conclusion at the surface may stop them from looking deeper. Still, if one finds poetry or writing to be accessable to them and not a struggle to read and understand it may encourage them to embrace the form... I think the quandary of how to reach the audience and provide more than a passing image that is discarded in the next two minutes is one we all struggle with.

this piece is not for everyone... and would not appeal to many I am sure.

thanks for the thought Ser...

Local Parasite
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3 posted 11-26-2002 01:30 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

This appeals to me, definitely.  Lust can be very playful subject matter for poetry, but it can also become very interesting when it is explored without, as Serenity mentioned, proposing a definite conclusion.

I very much like what you are presenting here, Ron.  Nice work.  

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Cpat Hair
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4 posted 11-26-2002 01:43 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

LP.. thank you.. glad you found it at least somewhat interesting. (smiling) It was created from a challenge to write a picture... the images in the picture are reflected in the words used, I just wrote a story line around it... pictures are often not conclusive... much like the face on mars photos...they all depend on the angle you look at things.. ( chuckling)

thanks for your thoughts..they are appreciated.

BTW..read you ragman poem several times and in truth have yet to come up with the words to intellegently comment..but then being a bit slow as I am..and not the brightest bulb I may never find the words..
bsquirrel
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5 posted 11-26-2002 02:43 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Sure, it's about sweaty flesh to flesh (and flesh to flesh on stone), but, strangely, I also think it might be about writing. It's a drug that can't be quit, dammit.

Loved it, Ron. Glad to see you posting here (and also glad to see I have a pre-holiday work day to stretch out and read a bit)

Mike
Cpat Hair
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6 posted 11-26-2002 02:45 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

mikey... you see too much... too well...

metaphor is a wonderful thing... and always a bit better when someone gets it...


glad you had a day to delve as well...
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


7 posted 11-26-2002 03:20 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

You were my lust.

Shadows of you stalked my groin
Dimming painted wings
Of all that might have been Holy
With deceptions of love

When it was the fruit of you I wanted
To devour
To sweep onto hard stone steps
With twisted desire of entry

In those places some revere as a temple
Then flounder as fish out of water
When faced with true lust
===============================


well, it appeals to me...
what does that make me (besides a poetry moth)
(DONT ANSWER THAT)  LOL
quite a mural of symbols and metaphors here Capt...one that leaves room for many interps...each reader brings their own lust to be inserted between the lines.
One of those clever poems where the reader doesnt have to understand the writers full intend, and will still be able to enjoy the poems merits.(or fly in its flame) *L*
Cpat Hair
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8 posted 11-26-2002 03:36 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

JM... glad you liked! Yes it is one that I hoped the reader could draw from what they would... intent and or what I thought about when writing it not needed for the reader.
as for the images and metaphor...again rather a case of borrowed from a painting and not my combinations just my viewing.
Always good to see you JM....

Paul Wilson
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Between Fantasy and Reality


9 posted 11-26-2002 09:31 PM       View Profile for Paul Wilson   Email Paul Wilson   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paul Wilson

Cpat Hair... This to me is almost like a peek into the inner mind of ourselves and the author at the time it was written.

I love it when a poem leaves the conclussions to the reader as this one does.I often try to view meanings of poems through the authors mind and connect with them in that way ..Paul

The following is so true for all of us, we all have our crosses to bare.

Shave your head in regretful mourning
For no cloak of sanctity
Will act as burial shroud
For the urges inside you.

You are my lustů
And that cross you must bare

[This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (11-26-2002 09:37 PM).]

Cpat Hair
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10 posted 11-27-2002 09:02 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

Thanks Paul for taking the time to read and comment! The verse you picked out is indeed the one that tries to tie it all together and to let the reader make their own conclusions... Good to see you here!!
Sudhir Iyer
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since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


11 posted 11-27-2002 10:58 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Hi Ron

I enjoyed this poem thoroughly... and also particularly noted to how you changed the tense from past to present --- "were" to "are"

...

Regards,
Sudhir
 
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