Poet DeVine -
I like this, but I agree that it cries out for a more extensive description... I myself have trouble with description sometimes, but there are tricks to get around it.
First - Explore all of the sensual realms and appeal to as many of them as possible. Talk about the sounds and smells, the feeling, the temperature, etc.
Second - be specific. Try to capture the exact specifics. Not just the colours -- the exact colours; not just the scents -- the exact scents.
Third - creative vocab is good, but is nowhere near as effective as comparisons. Appeal to things that exist. People have various definitions for words, and let's face it, some of us don't even know what a lot of words mean. Comparitive techniques like metaphor and similie help to avoid connotational issues, and keep your message clear.
These are things I try to keep at the front of my mind when writing. Consider it general advice, and NOT personal critique. Okay? Okay.
As for your poem... other than what's been said about enhancing the imagery a bit more... I like it quite a bit. It's good to know that at least one of the touchy-feely poets out there are willing to dip into a little bit of mimetic poetry once in a while.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.