"is the word "remorse" quite the one you were looking for? If it is, then I'm having trouble pinpointing exactly what the question means... you would feel remorse for your search for knowledge? You would feel remorse for subjecting yourself and others to the pain of the quest, perhaps?"
Yes... remorse is the exact word I was looking for. I'm asking "Should I feel bad that I'm hurting myself in doing this"? and "Should I feel bad that I'm still failing at this, although I'm giving so much of myself"?
On your way, your hands get a bit cut up from scratching and all that... what are you digging through? Other people? Is the blood entirely yours?
I'm digging through the past. Nothing returns without being cut up from that. The blood is mine alone
"I don't exactly know why I keep searching
Or why I care not that my form is scarred
This indicates that you don't mind the pains you've endured along the way."
Not exactly... I keep doing it but I don't understand why I don't care that I'm hurting myself. I know that I should care, but I don't. You see what I'm trying to say?
I think this poem could be a bit more clear...
Well friend, I thought your opinion was that the last one was TOO clear
if there's some difference between scars and bleeding, it might help to better establish what it is.
Scars are old, bleeding is new. Thats all...
Thanks for the input, everyone. I guess it's confusing, but it's just about reaching into my past and looking back on the millions of screw-ups, and one screw-up in particular. Thanks, everyone.
Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.