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the miles
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the miles |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa 
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he sings the distance the suffering heart (burnished brass a quivering cry) in mute smoke rings rising to join the empty branches the lonely streetlight haloed by cold rain sing sing to the miles that separate make them disappear send the sad hush of mist to drape the cypress (bleeding knees a quivering sigh) my exhale intense to the sleeping sky say it Miles say it you know........ All Blues |
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| © Copyright 2002 brian sites - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This...pure poetry baby... a tight jam of word thought here, that plays as light as spontaneity but your structure is as solid as a rock... *shaking my head and smiling* You amaze me. *rubbing my head* You don't even know how good you are, do you? and that just makes you cute, too. I guess all I can say is, *snaps*  and..."wow" |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Brian, this IS poetry, and a poetry that I know, all to well.... One that I truly, wish I had written. Damn! (I could, uh..... borrow it?) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*library*  (that's right...studying YOU now) |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
you love to make me blush don't you? *squirmsquirm*  sigh.... Iamwren |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Some fancy stuff, mister Sites. My eyes are sore from darting from place to place reading it, but that's not a complaint... You've got a surprising amount of sound technique worked into such a visually appealing poem as this one. Plenty of consonance to keep the reader's tongue familiar with itself. You wrote this well, and I commend you on it. Parasite Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Feelin' kind of blue round about midnight? |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
thanks LP, preciate it Mike? yes and you know all too well yourself chorus: Distance Sucks! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
sing sing to the miles that separate make them disappear send the sad hush of mist to drape the cypress (bleeding knees a quivering sigh) my exhale intense to the sleeping sky say it Miles say it you know........ ============================ *sighing here* .... and smiling... (ask KA how many times I have typed to her..."long distance sucks")  this is beauty in verse.... you sing the blues with style poet sir... our words build bridges over the miles I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
amazing. absolutely amazing. this is what it's all about.  i love the style you've got going here, and the language you used was just incredible. keep em coming. i'll be watching. /jen/ i'm so bitterly disappointed. betty, i think it's time you leave now. |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
An amazing poem. This is what people strive for when they write love poetry. This, I admire. Kielo According to statistics, a man eats a prune every twenty seconds. I don't know who this fellw is, but I know where to find him. |
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