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Passions in Poetry

the miles

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brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


0 posted 11-17-2002 04:04 AM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for brian sites

he sings
the distance

the suffering heart
              (burnished brass
a quivering cry)
in

          mute
                 smoke
rings

rising
to join

the empty

branches

the lonely
streetlight
                haloed
by
cold

         rain

sing
sing to the miles
that
separate

make them disappear

send the sad hush
of mist
to drape
the cypress
            (bleeding knees
a quivering sigh)

my exhale
intense
to the sleeping sky

say it Miles
say it
you know........

All Blues
© Copyright 2002 brian sites - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 11-17-2002 09:19 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

This...pure poetry baby...

a tight jam of word thought here, that plays as light as spontaneity but your structure is as solid as a rock...

*shaking my head and smiling*

You amaze me.

*rubbing my head*

You don't even know how good you are, do you?

and that just makes you cute, too.

I guess all I can say is,

*snaps*

and..."wow"

wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


2 posted 11-17-2002 11:56 AM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

Brian, this IS poetry, and a poetry that I know, all to well....
One that I truly, wish I had written.

Damn!
(I could, uh..... borrow it?)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


3 posted 11-18-2002 08:52 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

*library*



(that's right...studying YOU now)
brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


4 posted 11-18-2002 09:58 AM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian sites

you love to make me blush
don't you?
*squirmsquirm*

sigh....
Iamwren
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


5 posted 11-18-2002 01:57 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Some fancy stuff, mister Sites.  My eyes are sore from darting from place to place reading it, but that's not a complaint...

You've got a surprising amount of sound technique worked into such a visually appealing poem as this one.  Plenty of consonance to keep the reader's tongue familiar with itself.  You wrote this well, and I commend you on it.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


6 posted 11-18-2002 04:05 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Feelin' kind of blue round about midnight?
brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


7 posted 11-19-2002 01:57 AM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian sites

thanks LP, preciate it

Mike?

yes
and you know
all too well
yourself

chorus:  Distance Sucks!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


8 posted 11-22-2002 03:22 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

sing
sing to the miles
that
separate

make them disappear

send the sad hush
of mist
to drape
the cypress
            (bleeding knees
a quivering sigh)

my exhale
intense
to the sleeping sky


say it Miles
say it
you know........
============================

*sighing here* .... and smiling...
(ask KA how many times I have typed to her..."long distance sucks")

this is beauty in verse....
you sing the blues with style poet sir...
our words build bridges over the miles

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
but stay awhile, maybe then you'll see
a different side of me

MB20

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 06-10-2001
Posts 1316
the wonderful land of oz


9 posted 11-22-2002 05:30 PM       View Profile for quietlydying   Email quietlydying   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for quietlydying

amazing.

absolutely amazing.

this is what it's all about.  

i love the style you've got going here, and the language you used was just incredible.

keep em coming.  i'll be watching.

/jen/

i'm so bitterly disappointed.  betty, i think it's time you leave now.

Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


10 posted 11-23-2002 12:41 AM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

An amazing poem. This is what people strive for when they write love poetry. This, I admire.

Kielo

According to statistics, a man eats a prune every twenty seconds. I don't know who this fellw is, but I know where to find him.
-Morey Amsterdam

 
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