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Passions in Poetry

deafmute

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brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


0 posted 11-05-2002 02:41 AM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for brian sites

I watch through
miles of glass

distorted

she is attacked
         savaged

and my wide-eyed fists
pound
pound
resound against distance

repeat and again
resistance
is
mute
and hate is deaf
and

I watch through
the guile of glass

distorted

she has retreated
          ravaged

and my fisted eyes wide
resound
resound
pound against the vision

repeating again
persistance
is
hate
and mute is deaf
and

I watch her
punish herself
and I pray
she read the
cracks
I made in

the miles of glass
© Copyright 2002 brian sites - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


1 posted 11-05-2002 03:37 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

... brian?
http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum58/HTML/001452.html

i dont think ive ever linked my own poem to a reply, unless it was written in tribute. here, the link IS tribute. to show: i understand... as different and alike as both messages were... you have struck me and i feel myself shattered by your words.

the impotent casings of human beings. god how we squirm.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


2 posted 11-05-2002 03:51 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

*shaking my head at you*

why do you do this to you?

I worry about YOU too yanno...frown

I love you bri...sigh...



how can i rest when you won't?
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


3 posted 11-05-2002 11:57 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Ahh.

You're as sensitive as I am, aren't you?

Yes, I think so.

(just don't be as sensitive as Cobain)
brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


4 posted 11-05-2002 12:35 PM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian sites

meg-  thankyou, you honor me
      and yes, I have been whining about
      the inadequacies of our gravitybags
      for a while now......so..restrictive

you-  I can't help it
           smile for me?

mike-  I haven't felt like that in years
       and it didn't happen then
       so......knock on plastic
       thank you, Mike
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


5 posted 11-05-2002 07:37 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

?

Howzzat?

Now you restwill ya? You are going to be needing your strength.
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


6 posted 04-16-2003 05:34 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Ohh interesting.... the pounding against miles of glass is definitely a good way to describe the feeling ot trying to reach someone who's so secluded and kept away.  Reminded me of that one part in Donnie Darko.

Very nicely written, Mr. Sites.

Parasite

God becomes as
we are that we
may be as he
is
~William Blake

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


7 posted 04-17-2003 03:51 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Wow that was an intense read, I'm incredibly envious of your writing, it so passionate, yet it is still well crafted, thanks for sharing

Andrew
fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


8 posted 04-19-2003 04:26 AM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

An awesome poem!  I love the way you've sort of messed around with the senses and roles of parts of the speaker's body, like the "wide-eyed fists."  This is a very frightful poem with a jagged layout that fits it perfectly.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

 
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