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Passions in Poetry

solo rectitude

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 10-28-2002 03:27 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

Thus I die
knowing this--
dig a grave
to bury heart.
Take my pupils
in pinpoint
and spear them
into voodoo spark
and draw
the ve'-ve'
with my tears
a puddle toed
around--

remove this
pounding
from my ears
and tell me
silences
be sound...

I wish there
were a sacrifice--
I should've
bought the other dove--
where's my pipe?
and my incense?
Burn it.
Leave the ash of love.

Cloak my head
b'neath the gauze...
tell me reasons
of what was...
above my head?
angels sang?
Thus I am dimmed
for sake of God...

I have more reverence than you!
The Father delights in his child--
he calls unto the Mother--"You..
come see, m'love--she's US exiled..."

Now it is for them--I dance.
Selling flowers in a glance

of this solo rectitude...

I am offspring.

I dance for you...
© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


1 posted 10-28-2002 08:28 AM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

Off to work, I'll be back.

~yeti
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


2 posted 10-28-2002 03:02 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

A determined and powerful piece Luscious.

I loved it.

Maree
Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 07-07-2002
Posts 4023
Between Fantasy and Reality


3 posted 10-29-2002 01:13 AM       View Profile for Paul Wilson   Email Paul Wilson   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paul Wilson

Serenity~ Very touching write.
A tale of a broken heart and shattered dreams.      
Off with the sadness on with a smile.
Dance solo for a little while.
brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


4 posted 10-29-2002 02:35 PM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian sites

you are beyond me
cowgirl
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


5 posted 11-06-2002 12:54 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Love is a fine gris gris, is it not?
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


6 posted 11-18-2002 12:39 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Beautiful writing, Serenity.  I particularily like how you've structured the stanzas to be quite vertical, and yet, you have a meter scheme that runs from line to line.  You kept the flow effective without making your device too obvious, which is interesting...

I really enjoyed reading this.  The images are perfect and correlate excellently with the poem's theme.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

 
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