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Passions in Poetry

On lighting a candle

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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
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0 posted 09-23-2002 06:47 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

Sticks in long box
like red-headed pencils.
One lifted, a pressure
across sharpened pattern.
Flame drop is caught
and written to wick.
Doubled, erased.
Wax sheds its words.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (09-24-2002 12:22 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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1 posted 09-24-2002 08:17 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

Does it really lose words or does it now reveal their meanings?

Liked this one Mike...
bsquirrel
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2 posted 09-24-2002 12:22 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Even better! The ending will now be Wax sheds it words.

Thanks, Ron!
Local Parasite
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3 posted 01-12-2003 02:51 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Geez... and you say I write well on the mundane...

You've done it, Mike.  You've fully captured the lighting of a candle, drawn out its meanings, explained it more fully than it could ever be seen.  We shape the wax into a candle.  Flame just at the top, so the wax, all the way down, melts and moves for a while.

Once the flame is gone, the wax is solid again.  But this time, it solidifies in the shape it chooses for itself... sheds its words, yeah.... reveals their true meaning, yes, and makes them more what they really are.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

bsquirrel
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4 posted 01-13-2003 02:55 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks for pulling this one up, Parasite. Looking back on it, I realize the rhythm is as shaky as a flame -- which I can sadly say was not my intent. I'm still learning, myself.
 
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