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 Moderated by: Poet deVine, Martie   (Admins )

 
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Passions in Poetry

Flowers on the water

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 09-19-2002 11:34 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel


At the river's bank, flowers foamed.
Their colors mocked my lonely self-known shadow,
which was naught but suffused smoky light.

Women stooped to pull the pushing blooms,
by their heads; a silver pluck of silence.
Petals peeked from wicker heaping baskets.

I spied white feathers on the current then,
bobbing forlorn nibs. Inkless pens.
Some poet must have dropped them, overtaken.

The women on the bank looked up to see
those feathered pieces floating by and by.
Then heads back down in work, to summer heat.

One woman lost her load within the shade.
The basket spun at once into the shallows.
The river washed her flowers out in line.

The sinking rainbow rushed to meet the pens.
Of haste to ring the twirling, hueing nibs.
As if to write out words to teach the sky.

I watched that color spin against the bend,
then disappear to soften further on.
The silence came back in, the heat of working.

My idle self-made shadow seemed to sway.
The woman's basket wet and dripping, empty.
Nothing more to do, I left them then.
© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
brian sites
Senior Member
since 06-25-2002
Posts 1500
usa


1 posted 09-20-2002 12:14 AM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian sites

a beautiful image
even if a little sad
feathers as inkless pens
the scene
magick
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 09-20-2002 12:36 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

This is so different than your other poems.. I really like it.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


3 posted 09-20-2002 12:39 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thank you both. I basically rewrote Edmund Spenser's bridal verse to my purposes -- I didn't realize how much arrogance that took on my part until I ALSO realized how well-loved his poem is in some circles.

Oh well. If I hadn't mentioned anything, no one would be able to tell -- it's that disguised.

Glad you like this. I wasn't even sure whether to post it not for the longest time.

Mikey
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


4 posted 09-20-2002 04:05 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

At the river's bank, flowers foamed.
Their colors mocked my lonely self-known shadow,
which was naught but suffused smoky light.

Women stooped to pull the pushing blooms,
by their heads; a silver pluck of silence.
Petals peeked from wicker heaping baskets.


Heh Mike, some rich images, a beautiful write filled with a quiet sadness.  

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood
L cohen

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


5 posted 09-20-2002 06:00 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Mike

It is magic the way you color with emotion, so subtle I am taken in, sort of like melting before knowing you were standing in the heat.  If that doesn't make any sense, then just let me say, I loved this!  Beautifully done!
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


6 posted 09-25-2002 07:11 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thank you...
And Martie,
yes,
it made sense.
 
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