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Passions in Poetry

for John

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Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


0 posted 07-09-2002 12:17 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

congratulations.
you have managed to infect nearly every thing
in the apartment.

the cat is painful to be around
(well, besides gouging out my heels
when I try to pass in the hall):
she loved you so much.

and the groceries… I couldn’t
eat this morning
because when would
I next share a shopping cart
and have you hit me with produce?

I almost choked on the banana I’d peeled…

sigh. choking!
… the way you’d make me gag
on whatever I was eating,
or snort liquids:
the very first night I met you,
there was soda in my nose

Everywhere
there are little bare pockets
  where should be
your shoes,
left over mugs, caked bottoms,
packages of cigarettes,
your keys,
a shirt shrugged off
and slung to the couch
(done in the long
patch of morning
borne to insomniacs),
a forgotten pick

at the jeep turning from
driveway to road
(yes, recognize the sound,
like the dog)
there was a sinking
I had predicted
but not primed for:
stood at the window
and just bawled like
a little girl

Nic was already
on a grief cleaning spree
so I joined and we folded laundry
and aligned objects
already in place

(I thought about scouring the bathroom again
but
you left your soap
and
I couldn’t stand
to have that smell on my hands all day)

she half~laughed
passing me in the kitchen
as I swirled the sponge
that acts as our fifth appendage
“By the time we’re
finished with this house,
the walls are going to be repainted.”

I wander down the hall
to the room that should
Still. Be. Yours. dammit.
reflex affectionate instinct
expecting to find you, I guess
sitting, smoking
or testing out a new core progression

god! five more minutes...
to curl up on your bed
(sheets never fitting)
and listen to you play
or create and explode
packaged statements

moments would satisfy,
  given that I could still pretend
these last nights,
  during all tributary conversations,
grin at you from behind glass denial
& just enjoy the hell out of it
… but when you closed the guitar case
all walls were crushed.

it’s barely 8:30
and I’ve already come across
a hundred things
missing
that make this house less

and I don’t want to stop writing
until I can find words that
are silly and sentimental enough

or box in my own
declarations
that explain how hilarious and genuine
you are
how you fill a house
and touch everything around you

and, if by one stupid poem I could make you
step out from under that stubborn humble temperament
long enough to realize that a person alone
may not be profound or “amazing”
but the effect they have on others certainly can be

prove
it’s not exaggeration or melodrama
or emotional elevation...

by simply
being. what. you. are.
you've allowed me to see
the person I want to be,
and have given me what I need
to slowly become

you make me honest,
aware, draw me out of my self-absorption,
strike such contrary ideas
into my head
that I can’t help but feel enlightened
by the contrast

you have changed me
without any intention,
brought out the
very best in me,
have perhaps
even given me the motivation
to conceive of qualities
that were not latently
in existence

and, my god,
I have never laughed so hard
and with such earnestness
in my entire life,
you make my goddamn diaphragm ache

because
you are so blatantly flawed, lol,
and accept
with such simultaneous
grace and clumsiness (by seeming to stumble
across self-realizations)
your own fallibility,
~grin~
by celebrating inconsistencies

I have learned to love someone
because
of their imperfections,
not in spite of them

and, yes, (impossibly)
after the smallest time,
a week over two little months,
I do love you
Eros to Agape

and want so much for you to see
how wonderful you are
if even
just in the eyes of
the cleaning freaks of this house

and I’m glad this is text,
because, were this not a poem
you’d sit there with a
near glower on your face
and change the subject lol

so, listen, because you have to,
to these glowing words
and know the truth of them

you are dearly missed…

without any physical reminder needed
(left or lost),
but god forbid I glance at the coffee maker.

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (07-10-2002 02:19 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Megs - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 07-09-2002 01:54 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

and, if by one stupid poem I could make you
step out from that stubborn humble temperament
and force you to see that a person themselves
may not be profound or "amazing"
but the effect they have on others certainly can be

prove
that it's not exaggeration or melodrama
or emotional elevation

that by simply
Being. What. You. Are.
you allow me to see
the person I want to be

that the person you are
has given me what I need
to slowly become

you make me honest,
aware, draw me out of my self-absorption,
strike such contrary ideas
into my head
that I can't help but feel enlightened
by the contrast,

you have changed me
without any intention,
brought out the
very best in me,
==========================================


OH My God..................

I felt every word of this as if I knew and loved him..........


heal in your words and in the purge...
I dont even really know what to say....
to speak of this kind of pain up as poetic compliment or critique seems cruel.
heart-hug Poetess....
very very talented poetess.........
jm
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


2 posted 07-09-2002 02:51 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

~shaking head~ compliments for this don't seem deserved...

~smile~ but jm, wish I could explain... how your reply helps. As if purging wasn't truly complete until it was heard... you've lightened my spirits, honest.

Thank you So. Much. for your reply... which was short and sincere, and, in that, perfect.

(and, on a side note, for whatever reason, I feel the need to explain that it's only a loss of proximity, and it’s such a small weight on my shoulders, comparatively … to the others affected, my condolences and such admiration for your necessary strength & restraint. I'm so sorry I can't do more.)
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 07-09-2002 03:21 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

quote:
As if purging wasn't truly complete until it was heard



yes....that is it exactly...for the pain must be validated before the wound can begin to heal. For when we know that the words were felt and that someone else knows this pain, then we dont feel so alone...and when we know others have been here and found their way back, it give us that same path.

I am grateful and relieved that you felt my reply's true intend ... there was no way for me to be able to step back from such a heart wrenchingly honest and beautiful outpouring of such deeply personal emotions to be able to look at poetic merits. It just didnt seem appropriate. I know the emotional cost of writing from this depth...I also know the need to do so.
And here in this place of poetic sanctuary...sometimes our words offer healing to someone else who perhaps cant find their own words. Yours touched me in that way today. Thank you for that.
take care of you Poetess Meg.
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


4 posted 07-10-2002 01:58 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

~softsmile~ JM, check your mail.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 07-10-2002 02:52 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Some little moth said "don't miss this..."

...you are dearly missed…

without any physical reminder needed
(left or lost),
but god forbid I glance at the coffee maker. ...

bless her soul...
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


6 posted 07-10-2002 08:26 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Elizabeth Cor

I have always felt you were extraordinary...because of so many reasons, but mostly because you write with the raw, honest intensity that I would like to be able to write with.  You put me there with you, and in some small way I feel the heartache, and mourn a person made of words made real.    
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


7 posted 07-10-2002 08:41 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


And what Martie said, too...
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


8 posted 07-12-2002 08:03 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

I, of course, had to find this 10 minutes before I leave for work.  They'll have to deal with smeary makeup.  Aaaahhhhh - *shuddering sigh* - That's why I threw the damn coffee pot AWAY.  And almost bought a new one today.  lol

I was doing okay until...

"… but when you closed the guitar case
all walls were crushed."

And then, well, you know me - I have to wait until the house is empty and all I have is the psychotic cat and rat-face to console me before I bawl my eyes out like a baby.

I want you to know - you HAVE to know that your weight is no smaller than mine...different, but the same...and there will be no sorry's in this house missy...because you support and encourage so much more than you even realize.  So, thank you for being here, and for being you...because if you weren't, then I probably WOULD go mad.

s.h.h

[This message has been edited by Nicole (07-12-2002 08:03 PM).]

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


9 posted 07-16-2002 04:49 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

there was a pause of silence because I was at first speechless, and wanted to be careful with my words, and then busyness stepped in…

and admittedly, (soft) lol, I’m still just grappling at things to say…


JM: for your attention here, and earnestness ~smile~ for coming back to reply to my own response, and then sending me such a bighearted letter off site (still working there, really: see above excuses), HUGS, and thank you…

~

Karilea, for dropping in and saying so… and then echoing Martie? for your appreciation and interest, thank you

~

Martie, oh, I don’t know what to say lol… should I flood with extravagance or mumble back humble thanks? and its not a question of what’s appropriate, what sounds or seems “better”, just that I don’t know what emotional response to focus on and give back… because at once I feel humble and unworthy of such high praise, but also, to read something that recognizes so much of what I hope to yield, makes me swell to extravagance…

and, Martie, ~shaking head~ you DO write with rawness, honesty, intensity… and from this side, it seems more than anything I produce… I think I’m going to be repeating myself but, oh well, you are always a sought out poet in this place, for very good reason… there is one poem of yours that I will always remember (I haven’t read it in months and there’s already a sinking in my chest lol) let me find it…
http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum58/HTML/001521.html

there. that one.  and, let me see… oh, yes, good…  the reply made in that link is exactly what I want to say… so instead of fumbling here longer, compiling redundant declarations, will just let you reread and know that it still holds true…

thank you so very much, Martie, hearthugs

~

Nic? I had a reply here for you, but hated it... so, still working, because I will not allow it to be wrong. in the meantime, SHH, and thank you, just thank you.

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (07-17-2002 05:55 AM).]

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


10 posted 07-18-2002 04:16 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

For Nic:

hey, you… told ya I’d be back…

your reply was the most comforting…

I want to thank you in a way that’s so big and warm, to let you know this made me feel BETTER for a full half hour, when the rest of the last week (week!) has been devoted to internally sulking. I can still come back to it and it lifts my spirits …

and, my god, you had me laughing from the get-go (big surprise) I snorted at rat-face…

sigh, AND it gives me a huge relief to know I haven’t somehow desecrated an honest sentiment with a stupid mushy poem lol…

and I’m going to use this as another excuse to tell you how great the past few days have been, it’s so wonderful having you in the house of chubbchubbs to form my own galaxy with… and without it sounding rehearsed or generic… I wish I had a way to explain out what I feel, show exactly how damn glad I am to know you, and to have you in my life…

but, maybe I can just say thank you, and you, being who you are, will just KNOW all those things…
So, thank you.  SHH, fellow goddess, you make my life blessed.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


11 posted 07-18-2002 04:33 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

but when you closed the guitar case
all walls were crushed.


--I have been avoiding you. It's true. This took the wind out of me. I cannot say "goodbye"--I can't even watch someone pack.--

this one "ouched" me.

I'll "e" ya...sigh.

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


12 posted 07-18-2002 05:09 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

sigh. s'en? thank you for creeping in and giving word... I'm sorry, sweetie.
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


13 posted 07-18-2002 03:39 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Okay. I've read this thing three times already. As usual, when I read your poetry, I can't find anything to say about it. I just sit here awestruck at the power you have, knowing somewhere that people tell me I have a certain power in my own work. I have NOTHING like this! Damn it! lol..I'd like to find some of it too. I'm sorry. I just can't take it all apart like everyone else does in their replies because all of it stands out and trips me in a good kind of way. All I can say is that I want a copy of your book when you have one. LOL!

Loved this.

*Jenn*

I will not bend to the cowardice of a silent judgement.

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 10-13-2000
Posts 906
Oregon (yeah!)


14 posted 07-24-2002 03:29 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Cor   Email Elizabeth Cor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Cor

~smile~ Thank you, Jenn, simply for always coming back and taking the time to respond... regardless of any delay. And believe me... don't fuss over some perfect reply... come in wave, say you were here, and I'll be thrilled all the same. On THAT note: my book? Uhm, damn, I'd say that's a pretty staggering compliment... if I ever get there? I'd be happy to send you a dozen. thank you.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


15 posted 07-24-2002 05:29 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Hi there

I just knew this was going to be powerful and that I was going to enjoy it.... so ... Thank you!

wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


16 posted 09-07-2002 10:08 PM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

Rumor has it, that you are one of THE people to read, around here. (This is where I fall all over myself, praising this and proving, without doubt, that I'm a moron. But I'm smarter than that.)

So, I'll just say, thank you for writing this. It was a pleasure to read you.

Damn!
~wranx

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".      

~wranx~

wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


17 posted 09-07-2002 10:10 PM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

Sorry, but DAMN!

~wranx

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".      

~wranx~

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


18 posted 09-25-2002 06:35 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

You coulda chopped this in half and had two poems. It did run long at the end -- but so does the aftereffects of the end of something/the beginning of something.

Much better than my attempts on the subject.

Your talent is to be celebrated.

So it shall.

C'mon, baby, c'mon darling,
Let me steal this moment from you now.
C'mon, angel, c'mon, c'mon, darling,
Let's exchange the experience.
-K.B.

 
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