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Passions in Poetry

I Meant to Give You Flowers Still

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Krawdad
Member Elite
since 01-03-2001
Posts 2627


0 posted 07-06-2002 02:15 AM       View Profile for Krawdad   Email Krawdad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Krawdad

I Meant to Give You Flowers Still
        
          
As I recall
it started with
a bunch in hand
violets in the spring I think
blues and reds and whites
fresh, delicate, ephemeral
or daffodils and crocus
then tulips by the dozen
bright yellow, soft pink
and summer flowers too
I enjoyed giving to you
iris, lilies and glads
and later as the days shortened
asters, goldenrods, gay feathers
and when we approached
winterís chill
I meant to give you flowers still
through autumnís harvest themes
to holiday bouquets
and valentines to be sure
      
Did I send them too often
or were there just too many
Were you embarrassed
by my attention
Was I too intimate for you
and you could not bear
to answer their questions
      
When you told me
to stop sending them
you refused my invitation
          
You might as well have
crushed each one underfoot
                      
You crushed me
        
      
    
  
© 071602


  
"Grab a pen, grab some paper, do yourself a little favor."    e

[This message has been edited by Krawdad (07-06-2002 02:18 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Krawdad - All Rights Reserved
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 3084


1 posted 07-06-2002 03:08 AM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci

sighhh oh Krawdad what a touching write...
Brought a few tears out in me near the end...
Thanx4this was a good read PoetFriend...
Smiles2u
*~coco~*
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


2 posted 07-06-2002 11:17 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Krawdad

You can never send too many, but the one you send them to needs to adjust attitude.  

You used flowers to tell a very sad story of love...very well done.  As a florist I understand, exactly!
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


3 posted 07-06-2002 01:21 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

  Wonderful!

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


4 posted 07-06-2002 10:21 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Can there be too many flowers during a lifetime?

I think not,
but I am just one....

very very good, Sir...
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


5 posted 11-23-2002 01:40 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Send them to Sunshine then.  

Nicely written, Krawdad.  I was going to criticize how much of the poem you devoted to merely listing off a bunch of flowers, but then I realized, it has a function in this poem... to emphasize the importance, not to mention the quantity, of them.  Overall this is a rather effective poem.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


6 posted 11-23-2002 01:49 AM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

I liked this. It was very effective. I'm not sure what I mean by that, but something about it was just RIGHT. Well done!

Kielo

According to statistics, a man eats a prune every twenty seconds. I don't know who this fellw is, but I know where to find him.
-Morey Amsterdam

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


7 posted 11-23-2002 11:19 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

This is a very moving piece... it hurts so badly when you pour yourself into someone or something and they don't seem to care at all. I enjoyed this one!

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


8 posted 11-25-2002 12:22 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

I'd drop the last line, since it's obvious what the flowers represent without spelling it out like that.

I also found a lot of humor in this poem.

Mike
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