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The night fell gray

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-05-17 11:24 PM

Through the windows, her reflection
floating over garden gate.
Through the screen, bugs were flitting
on their way to here and gone.
Through the trees, the moon was sending
white lantern light without need of match.
Through the door, her head was resting.
The night fell gray around the latch.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 2002-05-17 11:27 PM

Sigh..yours is better...I think I'm trying to rhyme too much...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-05-17 11:28 PM

Feh, I tried to squeeze waaay too much into the meter, making the whole poem unstable. But ah'm glad you enjoyed our race.

Now to read yrs.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

3 posted 2002-05-17 11:32 PM

rhyme is evil!

do i see a theme here?

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