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Passions in Poetry

The Schhht of Death

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Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


0 posted 05-02-2002 04:14 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Yu Lan




Writhing, feeble,
as darkness is forced.
Black and winged,
sicks legs up and one fly down;
dead.
Murder-moisture
poisons “pests” –
turns the house
from home to tomb
in a schhht.

It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold.

© Copyright 2002 Lynne Miura, née Chudley - All Rights Reserved
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


1 posted 05-02-2002 07:13 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

OMG!  Could this be a ode to Raid?   Very nice, very nice indeed!

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 02-06-2000
Posts 5323
singapore


2 posted 05-03-2002 12:14 PM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

Lynne,

i'll come right out and say that i don't know if i am getting something ...is this about the killing of houseflies via insect spray?

i liked the line about sick legs and one fly...since the word "fly" has several meanings, my imagination bordered on the suggestive...heehee

and i think the "murder-moisture" is one cool phrase...
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


3 posted 05-03-2002 05:47 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Jp - yep, I think it was Raid my Dad was using actually. Hehe, I DON'T like fly spray. ^_^

Kaile - yes! Heh, cheeky. ^_^ I didn't think of that... wow, my mind is so innocent.. hee hee.
My mum liked 'murder-moisture' too. I wanted to show how I felt about people using it, ie it's not pest control, it's murder.

Thanks, you both!
Luv ya'll

It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold.

jamesjiao
Member
since 04-12-2000
Posts 270
Backwaters of Avalon


4 posted 05-18-2002 08:33 AM       View Profile for jamesjiao   Email jamesjiao   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit jamesjiao's Home Page   View IP for jamesjiao

Hmm.. not too bad.. try to invent some sort of all-purpose spray that kills both flies and annoying fly-like people..

- James
The beauty of nature is displayed,
not through itself,
but through the creatures
dwelling within its bosom.


bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


5 posted 05-18-2002 06:26 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

That was way too good -- it's obvious you wrote this long before Sharon comandeered this place for poetry races and open mics.

Enjoyed.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


6 posted 11-24-2002 12:45 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Phew, I'venot been here in a while, so I've missed heaps of poems and replies.. Sorry!! Thank you James and bsquirrel

-Lynne

It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold.

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


7 posted 07-17-2003 05:54 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Seems everyone's already made the observations I would have felt so proud of making.  Heh.

I do like the poem a lot.  It's got more depth to it than just an ode to raid, from what I can see... it's about how desensitized we are to something as profound as death.  That we can take out a can of poison and just kill a living creature in a schhht like that... without so much as stopping to think.  Turning the house into a tomb is a neat image.  A bit of an exaggeration but it's still powerful in that respect.

One of my favourites of yours, though I love pretty much everything you write.  You've got quite the imagination...

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


8 posted 07-17-2003 08:50 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

Grins.. witty words great writing
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


9 posted 07-19-2003 08:45 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Oh my gosh LP.. Thank you! That's EXACTLY right.. I've always hated ppl's attitudes towards killing living creatures, even if they are 'just flies'. I mean, flies drive me mad (the disgusting little things lol), but I would never kill them just because they are annoying me.. We need to be more tolerant, and more aware that we are not God and don't have any right to decide whether someone/thing lives or dies.
You're very sweet, thank you so much for your comments..

Aenimal - cheers, hehe.. I'm glad I made you grin.. ^_^

Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^

Love - Lynne

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


10 posted 07-22-2003 05:07 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Lynne:

and I am supposed to write to this?
God help me . . .
*shaking head*
You are brilliant
xxoo
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


11 posted 07-25-2003 04:12 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Geez Sue, don't say that! I never thought I'd hear someone say tha, hehe.. Thankyou very much.

Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^

Love - Lynne

gemjop
Member Elite
since 11-18-2002
Posts 2663
Pencilveinia, USA


12 posted 04-09-2004 06:53 PM       View Profile for gemjop   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gemjop

come back lynne!

xx
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


13 posted 04-11-2004 09:14 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Thanks gemjop.. hehe.. it's nice to be missed!

I'm so sorry, I've been really busy at Uni and only had the night times to use the internet.. My Dad now works from home a lot of the time, so he's always using the computer at night..

I've missed so much good poetry here!!
I will still pop back in sometimes, but I think I'll not be able to find much time, in amongst assignments and my Dad's computer usage.. Grrr..
Don't forget me!! I'm not gone forever!!!!

Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^

Love - Lynne

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


14 posted 04-15-2004 02:24 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Well Yu-Lan, I have a final exam in seven and a half hours and I'm browsing the pages of piptalk for the first time in God knows how long...  so it's not entirely impossible to balance school and the internet.  

http://www.livejournal.com/~new_formalism

fractal007
Member Elite
since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


15 posted 04-17-2004 10:49 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

Funny poem.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


16 posted 06-07-2004 05:12 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

This is an ingenious peice of writing, thanks for sharing.

Andrew
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