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Passions in Poetry

A couple a haiku..

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Yu Lan
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since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


0 posted 06-29-2001 05:31 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Yu Lan

Ok, I wrote these in English, 'coz we are studying a few different forms of poetry for a portfolio of poetry we have to submitt (yay! Sounds fun,   )

oh, yeah, they have no names.. but they really are quite unrelated to each other..

Dancing on blue stage
A piruette in soft breath
Autumn in the trees.

(How do u spell piruette?! ie ballet)


Swiss cheese sand
Winces as little fingers
Block shellfish breaths.


Exploring fingers
Pudgy in the gritty sand
Find rubbish treasures.

“One word can be magical. Imagine then, the effect of several words, together..”

© Copyright 2001 Lynne Miura, née Chudley - All Rights Reserved
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


1 posted 06-29-2001 12:36 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

hi there. . .  

p-i-r-o-u-e-t-t-e  

I like these. . . nothing like studying the forms!!  

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Dopey Dope
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2 posted 06-29-2001 04:31 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

I like these....nicely done Yu. *looks at the pic and drools*  
hehe I liked these..yea.  
Yu Lan
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since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


3 posted 07-09-2001 09:30 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Thanks Sven.. hehe, yep I'm not a particularly grate spelar..  
Thanx Javi, um I think... uh.. yeaahh...  
Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
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Winnipeg


4 posted 08-17-2001 05:12 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Heh, I agree, you are cute.  
These haikus weren't written in the 5-7-5 format that I'm used to, however if you were studying the format then I won't question you, but I'll ask - is there something I'm not aware of here?

Well enough of that, these were all really well done.  I like the second one best.
Keep up the good work, Yu Lan
~Allan

The children of the nobility are playing here. they look up at you with disgust as you come near.

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


5 posted 08-17-2001 07:34 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Thanks Allan..   Yes, the second one is not actually a traditional haiku, it's more like what my English teacher was lookng for, as in a short line, a longer line, a short line, with not so much emphasis on the syllables.. but no, hehe, haiku is still 5-7-5, I didn't change the formatt. ^_^
Thanking u muchly for your comments, Lynne

Nothing in life, if you study it close enough, and long enough, makes sense. But only once you have understood why it doesn’t make sense, can you be s

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