Equinox . (duet with Poutprincess.)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2001-06-06 05:18 PM

I had a fistful of broken sunsets
and a memory like deja-vu liquidity
selling my dreams in exchange for
familiarity
stability
though I knew that stars shone stark against vast night
I settled for flickering streetlamps and muted horizons
But celestial prophecy swallowed me
and I saw you in supernova clarity
your radiance blistered my soul, and all
I wanted was for you to consume me
solar-storm-tidal-wave
universal conjunction
my love for you, defies the laws of existence.

I am pondering with Darwin
my instincts, you know
apes never drank the raptures
of female glory, just raw hinds
to the jungle wind, but this,
the chemicals and intoxication
flowering and erupting in you
my pantheist princess,
the echoes of the great laurels
the romantics are woken from deep within.
I am the crazed fawn,
the Prozac kiss that shimmers
upon your lips, that fragile treasure
sheltered in sequential shades.
In this concave looking glass,
a blurred tunnel ignites,
you are the clarity through the haze.

We consist and exist as
astronomical evolution
equinox precision
past revealed, but no future to behold
for we are suspended in time as ageless devotion
leaving heaven and earth to myth
we alone are creation of a higher intent.

We are the alpha star and the omega,
merging in solar union, my sea of tranquillity
ripples with  your dynamic sigh,
you are the Jupiter flame in supernova
across a crystalline lake, in the vacuum
of luscious  bliss  we are bound.
========================
This is an old one from the archives.. Open 10 maybe.
if a certain person reads this
I still feel this way,

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-06-08 05:26 PM

I had a fistful of broken sunsets
and a memory like deja-vu liquidity
===============================

what an amazing line of imagery and inspire that is....whoa...

I am the crazed fawn,
the Prozac kiss that shimmers
upon your lips, that fragile treasure
sheltered in sequential shades.
In this concave looking glass,
a blurred tunnel ignites,
you are the clarity through the haze.

We consist and exist as
astronomical evolution
equinox precision
past revealed, but no future to behold
for we are suspended in time as ageless devotion
leaving heaven and earth to myth
we alone are creation of a higher intent.

We are the alpha star and the omega,
merging in solar union, my sea of tranquillity
ripples with  your dynamic sigh,
you are the Jupiter flame in supernova
across a crystalline lake, in the vacuum
of luscious  bliss  we are bound.
======================================

damn....the imagery ... the intensity and  the ...
...oh-- just damn.
(outstanding duet)

she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me
like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
~MB20~

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

2 posted 2001-06-09 12:36 PM

This is the kind of poem that gives K the shivers...gone all shivery have I.

Do I get to critique? Do I? Do I?

(I don't have much time but I will say a few little things anywho...)

'I am pondering with Darwin
my instincts, you know
apes never drank the raptures
of female glory, just raw hinds
to the jungle wind, but this,
the chemicals and intoxication
flowering and erupting in you
my pantheist princess,
the echoes of the great laurels
the romantics are woken from deep within.
I am the crazed fawn,
the Prozac kiss that shimmers
upon your lips, that fragile treasure
sheltered in sequential shades.
In this concave looking glass,
a blurred tunnel ignites,
you are the clarity through the haze.'

By and far the best part, IMHO, of this piece. You know Brian, it could almost stand as a poem alone...it's wonderful (cept I think that kisses shimmering on lips is far too well used.)

I think you have just a few too words with the 'e' rhyme at the end of them at the start..it interferes with the beat and rhythm just a tad..

And i think that concave looking glass is ambiguous. Are you saving it's a concave-looking glass or concave looking-glass? Heh.

Well done, both of you, for this...glad you reposted and I got to see it.

K

It is to do with tree-ferns:
mamuka, pongo, wheki.
Shelter under here is so easily understood.
From 'Hope', by Dinah Hawkins

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-06-09 02:02 PM

Great job. I liked this!!!!
nice!!!

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

4 posted 2001-06-10 03:30 AM

Most neurons in the outer layer of the brain, the cerebral cortex, are not linked directly to muscles and sensory organs. For example, consider the billions of neurons that make up the frontal lobe. Brain scans prove that the frontal lobe becomes active when you think of a word or call up memories. The front part of the brain plays a special role in your being you.
"The prefrontal cortex...is most involved with elaboration of thought, intelligence, motivation and personality. It associates experiences necessary for the production of abstract ideas, judgement, persistence, planning, concern for others and conscience ....It is the elaboration of this region that sets humans apart from other animals."
(Marieb's Human Anatomy and Physiology) We certainly see evidence of this distinction in what humans have accomplished in fields such as mathematics, philosophy and justice, which primarily involve the prefrontal cortex.
Why do humans have such a large, flexible prefrontal cortex, which contributes to higher mental functions, whereas in animals this area is rudimentary or nonexistent?
The contrast is so great that biologists who claim that we evolved speak of the "mysterious explosion in brain size." Professor of biology Richard F. Thompson noting the extraordinary expansion of our cerebral cortex, admits: "As yet, we have no very clear understanding of why this happened," Could the reason lie in man's having been created with this peerless brain capacity?

You two keep using your prefrontal cortex the way you have in this poem and I'll keep coming back.....I loved it!

Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

5 posted 2001-08-11 03:34 AM

Phechew.. um, this is goood!  Powerful and intense feelings
....     and I think Janet said it perfectly with "oh-- just damn"
WELL I like this

Lynne

“One word can be magical. Imagine then, the effect of several words, together..”

[This message has been edited by Yu Lan (edited 08-11-2001).]

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

6 posted 2006-09-30 10:37 AM

Sometimes I'll run across a poem and be glad I saw it first among the poems I'll read that day.

This one's the last of my morning....and yes, I'm glad to finish by putting such a special thing at the top of the forum. What a lovely statement....and I hope your hope was realized.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.