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Passions in Poetry

A Fragile Seed

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Munda
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since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


0 posted 05-23-2001 01:45 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda


A Fragile Seed

A fragile seed was planted in the garden of my heart,
A wall was build around it for I thought that would be smart.
The gardener had one quick look and said; "This wall must go,
Let sunshine fall upon you and some rain to let you grow."
And nurtured by his gentle hands this seed soon grow to be
A flower of significance, her name is Love you see.
I thank you dearest gardener for keeping out the weed,
But most of all I thank you for the planting of this seed.

Munda

© Copyright 2001 Munda - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


1 posted 05-23-2001 03:24 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

VERY very well done. This poem was simply beautiful!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Yu Lan
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since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


2 posted 05-26-2001 06:53 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

This is so perfect! JUST right..
A lot of love poetry turns out soppy and clichéd, but.. I love this Munda.. such a sweet, loveable poem..

“A poem is a tiny piece of the poets soul; on paper.”

Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


3 posted 05-26-2001 12:02 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Ooh, well done!  Very very well done in fact!  Iambic septameter?  I'd imagine that would be what this is called but I've never used the term before...
It reminded me of the old-fashioned "8-6-8-6" syllable formats.  Did you think of breaking it into lines of 8 and 6 syllables, and seeing how it looked?  Perhaps it would flow differently as well.
I really appreciate the message of this as well... I think you did a marvelous job on this, Munda.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
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4 posted 05-27-2001 09:12 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

beautiful poem...written so well...thanks for the read...i enjoyed it a lot

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

brian madden
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since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


5 posted 05-29-2001 01:46 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

thank you dearest gardener for keeping out the weed,
But most of all I thank you for the planting of this seed.


beautiful words munda  

"you are what you own in this land, you can be king and it all depends on the view and what you can see"  Whipping boy

Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


6 posted 05-30-2001 01:15 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

Thank you all for your very kind words.  
Allan, this is called iambic heptameter. Nan introduced me to it during the Ballad Workshop.
 
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