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Alwye
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since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments

0 posted 2001-05-20 12:46 PM


Ravages of pungent sorrow
Turn circles in my head,
My conscience screaming
Of the serenity silently raped,
Stolen from my soul...
My tears are cycloning,
Trapped far below
The satin laid skies
And the sunlight once etched
In my shadows
Has fallen into absence.  

The silence shatters
With every breath you exhale
And the space between us
(it could be inches or miles)
Is silver frosted...
How can our heartbeats
Be slowing into
An inescapable freeze?

...I feel as if you’re untouchable...

And so I enclose myself
In folds of trembling dark
Allowing the softness and quiet
...to seep down...and into...
My dying depths...
I am now abandoned
In these twilight moments
Perpetually.

*Krista Knutson*

"We can all become what we aspire to be
If Heaven's here on Earth..." ~Tracy Chapman

© Copyright 2001 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2001-05-20 10:14 AM


Wow... some really powerful emotions in this one. The imagery and wording are excellent, but I just hope this is a piece of fiction. If not, I hope things get better for you. Beautiful work, though! Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Dopey Dope
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since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-05-20 12:12 PM


This had a lot of emotional power within it. I liked this one a lot krista!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elizabeth
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since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
3 posted 2001-05-23 04:21 PM


You write your sadness so powerfully, Krista. This is something we've probably all been through. Well done.
Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-05-26 11:56 AM


Wonderful work here, Krista.  The technique you used was very profound.
I especially enjoyed your use of ellipse in drawing out the flow, I thought that was very creative.
Also, the word "cyclone" as a verb was clever.
Impressive indeed.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Alwye
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Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2001-05-27 11:57 PM


Thank you all sooo much for the kind words, sometimes a girl is in need of some.   So, thank you all once again, I appreciate it!

*Krista Knutson*

"We can all become what we aspire to be
If Heaven's here on Earth..." ~Tracy Chapman

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
6 posted 2001-05-30 06:49 PM


very powerful words. well written take care and I hope that is this not all based on personal experience

"you are what you own in this land, you can be king and it all depends on the view and what you can see"  Whipping boy

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2001-05-31 10:56 PM


Krista...you always write so well..amazing, this.
Dusk Treader
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Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
8 posted 2001-06-08 11:34 PM


Very powerful poetry, I feel the pain and sorrow exuding from this. This one resonates. Incredibly writing, Krista

"They that start by burning books will end by burning men." -- Heinrich Heine

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2001-06-13 10:56 PM


Krista, wow, there are some lines here which I can relate to like...

"And the space between us
(it could be inches or miles)"

"How can our heartbeats
Be slowing into
An inescapable freeze?"

".I feel as if you’re untouchable..."

The sorrow and pain pours right out.
Wonderfully written hon  

Maree  

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