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Passions in Poetry

Cycloning

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Alwye
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since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


0 posted 05-20-2001 12:46 AM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Alwye

Ravages of pungent sorrow
Turn circles in my head,
My conscience screaming
Of the serenity silently raped,
Stolen from my soul...
My tears are cycloning,
Trapped far below
The satin laid skies
And the sunlight once etched
In my shadows
Has fallen into absence.  

The silence shatters
With every breath you exhale
And the space between us
(it could be inches or miles)
Is silver frosted...
How can our heartbeats
Be slowing into
An inescapable freeze?

...I feel as if you’re untouchable...

And so I enclose myself
In folds of trembling dark
Allowing the softness and quiet
...to seep down...and into...
My dying depths...
I am now abandoned
In these twilight moments
Perpetually.

*Krista Knutson*

"We can all become what we aspire to be
If Heaven's here on Earth..." ~Tracy Chapman

© Copyright 2001 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
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1 posted 05-20-2001 10:14 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Wow... some really powerful emotions in this one. The imagery and wording are excellent, but I just hope this is a piece of fiction. If not, I hope things get better for you. Beautiful work, though! Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


2 posted 05-20-2001 12:12 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

This had a lot of emotional power within it. I liked this one a lot krista!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


3 posted 05-23-2001 04:21 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

You write your sadness so powerfully, Krista. This is something we've probably all been through. Well done.
Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


4 posted 05-26-2001 11:56 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Wonderful work here, Krista.  The technique you used was very profound.
I especially enjoyed your use of ellipse in drawing out the flow, I thought that was very creative.
Also, the word "cyclone" as a verb was clever.
Impressive indeed.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Alwye
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since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


5 posted 05-27-2001 11:57 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Thank you all sooo much for the kind words, sometimes a girl is in need of some.   So, thank you all once again, I appreciate it!

*Krista Knutson*

"We can all become what we aspire to be
If Heaven's here on Earth..." ~Tracy Chapman

brian madden
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since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


6 posted 05-30-2001 06:49 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

very powerful words. well written take care and I hope that is this not all based on personal experience

"you are what you own in this land, you can be king and it all depends on the view and what you can see"  Whipping boy

Martie
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Posts 28608
California


7 posted 05-31-2001 10:56 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Krista...you always write so well..amazing, this.
Dusk Treader
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since 06-18-99
Posts 1231
St. Paul, MN


8 posted 06-08-2001 11:34 PM       View Profile for Dusk Treader   Email Dusk Treader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dusk Treader

Very powerful poetry, I feel the pain and sorrow exuding from this. This one resonates. Incredibly writing, Krista

"They that start by burning books will end by burning men." -- Heinrich Heine

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


9 posted 06-13-2001 10:56 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Krista, wow, there are some lines here which I can relate to like...

"And the space between us
(it could be inches or miles)"

"How can our heartbeats
Be slowing into
An inescapable freeze?"

".I feel as if you’re untouchable..."

The sorrow and pain pours right out.
Wonderfully written hon  

Maree  
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