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Passions in Poetry

Denial's Sin (Allan Riverwood and Serenity, Duet Club)

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Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


0 posted 05-20-2001 12:22 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allan Riverwood

beneath the sleeping chapel that was me
enwrapped within tranquility so sweet
I waited there, beside our favourite tree
perchance by fate again, this night we'd meet

I held within my hand a daisy white
and spun it, as I'd seen you do before
so sweet, and violet black the sky of night
I closed my eyes and counted up to four

i opened eyes surprised--chagrined
to see the same I'd seen, again.
I closed my eyes in pray renew
to capture what I'd lost of you.

Simple silences aware
Unbalancing of scales beware
and every thought I thought was new?
was but the tilt of beam, askew.

the ravage of a heatwave down its path
created for me hatred of the moon
it burned my skin, in prejudice and wrath
I clutched myself, and hoped you'd be here soon

reflection in the daisy's weary glare
that titled down, provoked my sight, and dried
to satisfy my eyes I stripped them bare
and watched the creature shrivel as it died

I am lonely in my loss...
one petal fallen--such a cost...
to see it dry and spin in air
as if there was no life to care

and no weight of soul to spin
A feather light--denial's sin--
The silence of a cry's despair
in weep of heaviness of air.

but still beneath the chapel, shutting down
my body ached, my insides shredded out
the pain ran o'er my body as a gown
and cleansed me of my everlasting doubt

and as the petal wept and hit the earth
so, too, my hopes and memories of you
fell flatly at my feet, for all they're worth
then melting in the blades of grass and dew

And all my hopes become compost--
becoming one with ghost of host.

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 05-20-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
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since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


1 posted 05-20-2001 12:55 AM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Absolutely incredible you two....the imagery is stunning and memorable.  Truly exellent work, I am impressed!  

*Krista Knutson*

"We can all become what we aspire to be
If Heaven's here on Earth..." ~Tracy Chapman

LoveBug
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2 posted 05-20-2001 10:07 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Wow... very beautiful piece here, you two! Such deep and profound emotions are harder to convey in a duet, but you two do it just fine. Great job!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


3 posted 05-20-2001 10:10 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Excellent!!! I hope you both will write together again.  
Dopey Dope
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4 posted 05-20-2001 12:10 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Amazing job here! I really enjoyed this one a lot! Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


5 posted 05-20-2001 07:38 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

came back to thank allan once again.   Had a great time both chatting and writing with you--would love to do this again anytime!!!
Thank you, my new friend!
Dark Angel
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since 08-04-99
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6 posted 05-21-2001 07:43 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

WOWEEEEE, excellent you two!
I loved this, you make a great team  
You must write together again  

Maree
Yu Lan
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since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


7 posted 05-25-2001 05:57 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

bravo you 2! ^_^ this is something, that's for sure! Enjoyed muchly
-Lynne

A poem is a tiny piece of the poets soul; on paper.

anonymous albert ?
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8 posted 05-27-2001 09:02 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

wow!...beautifully written...an amazing job you guys did here...i loved this piece...you two worked so well

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

brian madden
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since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


9 posted 06-02-2001 03:25 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

but still beneath the chapel, shutting down
my body ached, my insides shredded out
the pain ran o'er my body as a gown
and cleansed me of my everlasting doubt

and as the petal wept and hit the earth
so, too, my hopes and memories of you
fell flatly at my feet, for all they're worth
then melting in the blades of grass and dew


powerful imagery guys this was great stuff.

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Ina
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since 10-09-2000
Posts 1331
Quebec, Canada


10 posted 06-14-2001 09:35 PM       View Profile for Ina   Email Ina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ina

You guys this was truly amazing. wow. im speechless

If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive.

Local Parasite
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11 posted 05-16-2003 01:43 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Now this is some really nice work.  You two have a lot of talent, and you definitely work well together.  

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Midnitesun
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Gaia


12 posted 05-16-2003 03:03 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Thanks for bringing this one from the archives!
I am in awe of the way this weaves the words of two into one.
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


13 posted 05-16-2003 03:57 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

LP? It is precisely because of this one I decided to try it again.

I was delightfully surprised when I not only got the opportunity to learn more about poetry--but also made a wonderful new friend!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


14 posted 05-17-2003 05:31 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

This is amzing - just brilliant writing guys  . . .
in awe - truly
xxoo
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


15 posted 05-17-2003 11:25 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

A GIGANTIC well-done from here!
nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


16 posted 05-18-2003 02:02 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

I wish this was going to be in the Reflections Book...wonderful writing, you two. (I may just print it out and slide it into the book when I get it, if you both don't mind.)

Hey maybe the next book can have a section of duets in it...

M
Sven
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Lansing, MI USA


17 posted 05-19-2003 12:39 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

serenity is always good. . . but, let me tell you. . . that Allan Riverwood is just a great guy. . . I wonder what happened to him. . .

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Ratleader
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18 posted 09-29-2006 10:11 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

There are so many quality poets in this place....it's almost astonishing! Yes, I'm going back and reading the old things tonight, and enjoying it very much. New doesn't equal best, after all.....

~~(>   ~~(>  ~~( >    ~~~(ER>
______________Ratleader______________

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