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Passions in Poetry

The Whiplash Trail (Allan Riverwood and wayoutwalt, Duet Club)

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Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


0 posted 05-04-2001 09:27 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allan Riverwood

The night is cold and crisp about
compels the naked eye
I'm drawn by pupil on a thread
to gaze into the sky
But what I see there when I do
Is not what I'd expected to

A tendril from the earth's bright tail
it saw the birth of man
A comet on the whiplash trail
showing God's Master Plan
In my eye the world is captured
In my heart I am enraptured

Without fear, without desire
and letting dry my tears
The sound of such magnificence
is music to my ears
The thunder that caresses me
Is all that I could wish to see

Nature seduce with her rhythm
Father calls by my name
I lie in clover and see my birth
embraced in lack of shame
The comet shrills the ancient days
I hide my face in wicked ways

"The wind shall be your mirror, child
its song shall be your bed
Thus close your eyes for greater things
and use your ears instead"
Such wisdom is the comet's voice
My concience rings, in need of choice

I dip my hand in thirst for more
ears prepped my site is gone
I only muse the comet flies
into the wash of dawn
And in pursuit  the child will learn
I hear you God, You will return

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 05-04-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Munda
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since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


1 posted 05-04-2001 12:46 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

I think you guys did an outstanding job!  
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
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Hurricane Alley


2 posted 05-04-2001 07:37 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Wow..this is great!!! Now tell us how you did it, ICQ or EMail..was it fun??? What advice would you give to those other teams still writing (or doing future duets)?

  
Fading Away
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Lynchburg, Virginia


3 posted 05-05-2001 12:25 AM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fading Away

Wow, ya'll did a great job!  I can't wait to see the other duets that come out of this!  Bravo    Kudos to both of you.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
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San Juan, Puerto Rico


4 posted 05-05-2001 01:00 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

This was great. You two worked wonderfully together!!!!!!!!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Dark Angel
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since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


5 posted 05-05-2001 03:48 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Wahooo, hey you two, this is GREAT, you make a wonderful team.

I hope to read more fromyou, you Dynamic Duo!

Maree  
anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
Posts 4172


6 posted 05-05-2001 04:29 AM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

wow..great job..you guys did well on this..
an awesome piece..

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

LoveBug
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7 posted 05-05-2001 09:14 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

This is a beautiful piece! You two are a great pair. I told you I wouldn't be disappointed!  

So, when will you two be working together again?

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Blame Canada!

Elizabeth
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America the beautiful


8 posted 05-05-2001 11:57 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

This is truly outstanding!! You two work so well together.  
wayoutwalt
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since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


9 posted 05-05-2001 06:14 PM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

Well it was easy really, Miss DeVine yuh We waited to the last minute and cracked it out in style over ICQ where memories are made. O YUH!

Allan Riverwood
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Winnipeg


10 posted 05-05-2001 06:19 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

O yuh is RIGHT!     
*slaps Walt a high-five*
Yu Lan
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since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


11 posted 05-07-2001 02:45 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

um.
what am I meant to say here.
This is brilliant!
Loved muchly, u guys..
Well done..
-Lynne

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu

banburycross
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since 03-27-2001
Posts 1087
viginia


12 posted 05-07-2001 03:04 PM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

All the duets i've read so ar have been incredible, and yours is certainly no exception.  this is beautiful work you guys, i hope you work together again in the future.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Ratleader
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


13 posted 09-29-2006 08:53 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

Good grief I miss a lot....I was IN that duet experiment, did a duet even....and missed this exquisite poem!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

 
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