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Passions in Poetry

I Was The First! (Blank Verse from the Poetry Workshop)

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Munda
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since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


0 posted 05-03-2001 05:55 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda


I Was The First!

For many years I lived along a creek
And navigated down-stream quite a bit
To find a glimpse of what the end may bring --
A river wild that put a spell on me

One day I packed my bags and got my boat
Not beaver, nor a hunt this time my goal
But merely satisfying needs within
Exploring wildest river known to me

What would be at the end of this wild beast?
Enormous lake where many rivers meet?
And banks much further than the eye can reach?
Or would it end at sea to mingle in?

So off I was and slept along the way
And during night the deer and wolf stopped by
Raccoon stole food and ruined my supplies
Misfortune could not stop me from my quest!

On berries, blue and fish I stayed alive
A rabbit old, occasionally snared
My pipe, a good old friend and company
While birds sang me a lullaby to sleep

The river started flowing faster yet
And danger lurked around each bend I sailed
A rapid, strong or whirlpool to avoid
But bit by bit I conquered every stream

Although I must admit it was a fight
With nature of a kind beyond my dreams
Inferiority revealed to me
By flowing faster on this river wild

One day I heard a sound not known to me
And for a single moment time stood still
A mile ahead a waterfall so grand
Of such a beauty I could hardly breathe

I had to reach the shore to save my butt
A test of utmost strength to man and boat
My muscles aching, asking for relief
Another 15 feet and I'd be safe

The Indians would not allow me rest
Their arrows aimed to kill this weary man
My one chance of survival straight ahead
By going over falls without an end

Niagara Falls is where you'll find my bones
A man's heart broken, story never told!
Another man got famous and not me!
Discovering these falls y'all come to see

So now my bones lay at the bottom of
The greatest beauty one has ever seen
My spirit bound till somebody believes
I was the first discovering the Falls

Dear folks, who read this story, set me free
By throwing in a dime to break the spell
For if you do, I may at last find peace
Niagara Falls, lay not my soul to waste

© Copyright 2001 Munda - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


1 posted 05-04-2001 12:56 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

This is marvelous!  It had me laughing out loud towards the end, such a light-hearted poem!  I would like to see this published somehow, maybe put on a plaque near the falls or something to encourage people to throw coins in.  This was such a creative idea, I really did enjoy it a lot!
As far as the blank verse goes, you did marvelously and I see no real flaws.  There were a few that sounded off to me but really weren't... so I'll just keep that to myself.  
Keep up the great work.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


2 posted 05-04-2001 08:39 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

I enjoyed this very much. It was well written and I liked it a lot. You should post more becuase I haven't seen much poems of you here. I enjoyed it though.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
Posts 4172


3 posted 05-05-2001 04:30 AM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

beautiful poem..
i really enjoyed the read..
keep writing munda!

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-05-2001).]

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


4 posted 05-05-2001 10:15 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Took me long enough didn't it?   LOL

Munda you did a fantastic job!! I love this one! It takes you right in there, seeing the danger and all. BRAVO!!

I agree with Allan, it should be posted by the falls.  
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


5 posted 05-08-2001 04:56 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

Well thank you Allan! What a nice thing to say.   I must admit though my imagination is as wild as that river.  

Thank you oh Dopey One. Unfortunately I have very little time at the moment for writing, but I promise one per month.  

Thank you Albert. Your words are highly appreciated.  

Dovey! You flew all the way to the Haven especially for me!   Thank you M'Lady for your kindness and lovely words.
Charisma
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since 09-30-2000
Posts 6029
lost in blue pages


6 posted 05-10-2001 09:15 AM       View Profile for Charisma   Email Charisma   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Charisma's Home Page   View IP for Charisma

Hi Munda,

I enjoyed this poem a lot, it made me smile...I visit your homepage and readed your poems as they are very good.

((hugs))
Charisma

 
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