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Passions in Poetry

reflection's fears

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 03-19-2001 04:30 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

There's something evil in me, seething,
it prays you'll find no thing as easy
as all the days we passed carefree
I hope you gave it all to me
no thing leftover to reheat
I hope you crave me - hunger - sweet--
and every hour hear my plea
a graveled heart beneath my knees...
feel the bite of lover's bleed
I wish you well, but pray--you'll need
It just might spark humanity
a piece of faith - a mustard seed
and in the glitter of my tears?
I pray you see reflection's fears...
© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Laureate
since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


1 posted 03-19-2001 11:15 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

I thought this was very good. I liked it serenity!!!! Wonderful poem!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

LoveBug
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Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


2 posted 03-20-2001 04:45 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

This is a wonderful piece! I can relate to everything you are saying. I hope that you don't have to give into any of those fears. Thanks for sharing!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 03-22-2001 12:00 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

You certainly hit home runs....
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


4 posted 04-22-2001 10:44 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

I'm with Sunshine, you rock girl.     I definitely see what you are saying in this poem, and agree 100%.  
A critique though, perhaps this poem would have had a better flow if you'd incorporated a bit of meter?  
Don't stop with these outstanding works.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 03-23-2001
Posts 4172


5 posted 04-26-2001 07:57 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

great job on the poem..
i liked it..
thanks for sharing
and
keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


6 posted 05-30-2001 05:15 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

I pray you see reflection's fears...


powerful writing as always

"you are what you own in this land, you can be king and it all depends on the view and what you can see"  Whipping boy

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand


7 posted 06-01-2001 05:30 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Your last line, that is the strength of this poem.. yeah this is good.. very beautiful, your writing often has a haunting quality, you know that..  

“One word can be magical. Imagine then, the effect of several words, together..”

 
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