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Passions in Poetry

Solitaire (something... er... different)

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Allan Riverwood
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0 posted 03-16-2001 12:48 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Allan Riverwood

(I tried something... uh... different. I was really bored, and Biology homework was not an option. So somehow I got the idea to take a deck of cards, flip through them in a random order, and write a series of senryus, using each card's number and suit in its respective stanza and in that order. You'll get the idea. It was fun! Try it sometime.)

Six black, jagged spades
taunt the sorrows at the skin
as they penetrate

Ten more rusty spades
crush'd the bone that cowered deep
as it tried to sleep

Solitary man
the ace member of his club
down the dim lamplight

Dreaming of the past
Of his queen that he had lost
decked out in diamonds

Dreaming of the spades
Hurled by his beloved queen
Deep into his soul

Ravaging the heart
Five small droplets hit the ground
From its emptiness

Nine more spades were hurled
Mercilessly, as he lay
daring not to stray

Joker turned face up
In the game of solitaire
These should be removed

Solitary man
All the diamonds in the land
Makes him not a king

To honour his heart
Shuffling six more times, he cries
To his bed of cards




[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 03-16-2001).]
© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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1 posted 03-16-2001 02:50 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Allan - this is wonderful!
Dopey Dope
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2 posted 03-16-2001 05:33 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Allan, I thought this one was awesome. VERY VERY VERY creative and VERY well written.
bravo!


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily
LoveBug
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3 posted 03-20-2001 04:38 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Such poetry inspired by a card game! Your talent blows me away, my friend. Great job!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Marge Tindal
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4 posted 03-23-2001 11:25 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Allan~
What a creative mind !
Brilliantly played hand !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Fading Away
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5 posted 04-17-2001 12:42 AM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fading Away

Very creative.. wow.. i could never come up with something like this.  VERY nicely done!

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

anonymous albert ?
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6 posted 04-26-2001 08:07 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

as every1 said..
this was really creative
and a great poem...
keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Yu Lan
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7 posted 04-28-2001 11:03 PM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

How original! ^_^ I love your idea! Oh Well done Allan.. I love reading such creativity..

LC

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu

brian madden
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8 posted 06-01-2001 07:33 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

I have only ever played Solitaire on the computer so writing on the screen is probably a bad idea, whoever I really enjoyed your orginal verse. Nice idea it produced a really good poem.

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Kit McCallum
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9 posted 06-01-2001 07:54 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Wonderfully creative Allan! This was terrific idea, I really enjoyed them all!  

Best wishes,
/Kit
Ina
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10 posted 06-14-2001 09:33 PM       View Profile for Ina   Email Ina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ina

This was really awesome allan. Very original.

REgina

If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive.

Marshalzu
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11 posted 07-07-2001 01:55 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Wow Allan your creativeness astounds me, great job on the senyru's  
Zu
Moon Dust
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12 posted 07-09-2001 07:50 PM       View Profile for Moon Dust   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Moon Dust

nice one

Don't ever give in, if you do you've lost everything you've ever had and everything you hope to gain, but if you carry on your already winning.

Heavens Tears
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13 posted 07-10-2001 03:25 PM       View Profile for Heavens Tears   Email Heavens Tears   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Heavens Tears

This was a very creative way to write a poem.  It was also a very nice poem.  Great job!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

JBaker515
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14 posted 07-27-2001 01:23 PM       View Profile for JBaker515   Email JBaker515   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JBaker515

COOl
 
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