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Passions in Poetry

Reflection

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fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


0 posted 02-23-2001 04:52 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for fractal007

Since I figured that I should get an all ages view of my poetry, I've decided to start posting here as well, where I can post poetry of all topics, and it's not as busy as the Open Poetry forums. I will still keep posting in the teenage forums as well though, until I turn 20.

This is my first attempt at Tanka, after Allan Riverwood's suggestion for me to try it out. It's an earlier poem, from the recent time in which I was concerned with the nature of being and life.




Silent reflection
Dreaming of things that canít be
Foolish conception
Wanting all my dreams to be
Stuck on earth, a boring sea.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh."

-- Magus
© Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


1 posted 02-27-2001 09:21 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

I don't anything about Tanka's...but I like this one!

There's wisdom in those words.
Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


2 posted 02-27-2001 06:04 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Nice job here Frac........I'm all around the boards so you'll get my replies wherever you are! MWhahahaha!
I thought these words were quite deep. Nicely done here. I too know nothing about tanka, but I know that this was well written.
Oh....and you should post in teen when yer 20 anyway!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


3 posted 02-27-2001 08:26 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I too like it....not sure if it's really a Tanka..but then again, I'm not an expert. I only know what I like.

It's nice to see you here in Senior Member land!!!
CocoBaci
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since 05-06-2000
Posts 3084


4 posted 02-27-2001 10:20 PM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci

Fractal, I too enjoyed reading your poem it has much meaning weaved into the write...

~coco~
fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


5 posted 02-28-2001 02:09 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

Thankyou all for the replies.

Tanka is a form[this definition is according to what Allan Riverwood told me] which extends the senryu format. It uses a 5-7-5-7-7 syllable format. They can be about anything one wishes them to be about.

I am glad that you all liked this one.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus
Allan Riverwood
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since 01-04-2001
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Winnipeg


6 posted 04-21-2001 03:10 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

I believe PdV was making reference to the scheme of rhyme (which I thought was genius).  
I really did enjoy this one, I'm glad you decided to try this out.  You certainly blew me away with this poem, Tanka or not.  
I think we, the people, should campaign to create formats in which the senryu/haiku/tanka format is kept syllablically, but you can still rhyme if you so desire.  Although I'm sure the guy who refined the format didn't say ~NO RHYMING~ after he was done.  
Sorry 'bout that short rant, nice Tanka.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.††Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.††
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
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7 posted 04-27-2001 12:59 AM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

great job on the short poem..
i enjoyed the read..
keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

 
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