I lay my hands against the mirror
and pray for solitude.
There, captive echoes scream-
No warming rain
no mist of love or cooing sound
just vocal hell.
"Let me out, Let me out"
her palms meet mine-
No longer formulating compromise
for I am stronger now.
This is my way, my way,
no one else. Only me.
Connecting veins partner there;
ire meets strength
I open my palms to warmth
from the one
who only wanted beauty to radiate
through every pore
sustaining, pressing, moving
that beauty begins to travel through my
skin to reach her own.
The warmth begins to fire the glass
my heat replaces the blue
To meet the scream, I pause, remove
one soul and place it close between
her reflection and there, it shadows her.
But it is in soft, whispering tones
and loving grace,
scarcely heard above mocking profanity
that I cry-
" Believe in yourself! Believe in yourself!"
I repeat it over and over again until
my pulse quickens
and my breath dries, my eyes dilate
and I begin to say it
louder "Believe in yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!"
At that moment when I believe in little else,
I begin to see the images in my mind,
those who stand around me in true form
Fear is a synthetic fantasy that suffocates
and forever is contaminated with re-run phrases,
that worms my skin and nauseates me.
I scream "I believe in me."
She fades but not wholly
she will return again in
another horrendous encounter
and I'll rest my voice
to repeat again, those words
"I believe in me."
And to those who turned away
in pity, or stayed from fear,
shaking their heads, lying,
sparing a few
slicing through my emotions
and draining my insides
bringing more suffering in fluid repulsion
It is then I realize
they had no reflection
and I never saw them,
They were not true,
because the mirror does not lie.
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."