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Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada

0 posted 2002-02-10 08:06 PM


Memories Healer...The Little Door
Karen Torbiak
2000

He looks upon this woman
with compassion burning
in his heart as he sees her
tossing fitfully in her sleep,
haunted by memories that
still bring pain and heartache
after these many years

He is Memories Healer and
has come to take her back
to a time that has left the scars
of life upon a heart yet tender
that have gone so deep that
her dreams are ever filled
with the terrors of a child

Reaching out he strokes her
brow and smiles a little from
the sigh that escapes her lips
for his touch leaves peace
erasing all traces of the past
and giving her a few minutes
of before taking her to the past

As he watches her in peaceful
slumber his heart weeps for
the child he knows is trapped
within her begging to be loved
and released from the nightmares
that have left a mark on her
very soul her entire life

The time has come so reaching out
he gently touches her eyes, bringing
her to full wakefulness, she looks
at him with understanding and rises
to take the hand he offers her
knowing with complete faith he will keep
her safe as they journey together

A golden mist gathers in the room
that glows with a warm welcoming
feeling as they approach it hand
in hand for this is the doorway into
the past where only one small
part of her pain will be seen and
hopefully embraced to leave healing

As they enter the mist he feels her
hand become tiny and trusting as
that of a little child and he knows
that it is the little child in her who
he leads now down a dark road
to a place where she has feared to
go for fear she would be lost there

They enter the room and he feels the
tremor in her body through the
tiny hand as memories flood back
to her of the fear of this place for
a young child who hears and sees
but does not understand the meaning
behind all that transpired here

Laying on the bed is a young girl
who sits up suddenly as she becomes
aware of voices raised in anger
coming from downstairs and the child
at his side begins to shake with
remembrance of this night which was
repeated a thousand times the same

The child from the past does not see them
as they are wrapped in the golden
mist and are as yet only visitors
to this scene where the smell of fear
begins to fill the air as the voices
become louder and crying is heard
to come from a weeping woman

The child in the bed scrambles up
and stands at her door with fear and
helplessness flowing through her,
as her thoughts and feelings are
revealing in all their entirety to the
two standing quietly within her
room watching and knowing the outcome

Her stomach begins to knot and heat
flows into her as she stands knowing
what is to come next and not wanting
to see or hear it so she turns and there
in the wall is a little door where a sense
of safety is waiting for her if she will
just open it and hide within darkness

On bare feet she flees across the floor
pulling open the door and creeping
into the darkness to sit with knees
drawn up and arms wrapped around
them burying her face in the vain hope
to shut out the sounds of violence
still manage to reach her hurting ears

Her stomach is sick and fear fills her
that is not just fear for herself but
for the sounds of pain she can still
hear with a loudness that fills her soul
as she huddles behind the little door
not feeling the cold air flowing into
this attic room where she hides from all

Locked within this room her face is
streaked with tears as her tiny heart
cries out for help and love from the
two who now fill the walls with a
rage and anger that a little girl
only knows that this is not the way
things are suppose to be in a loving home

Standing, feeling and seeing all, tears flow
from the eyes of the Memories Healer’s face
as he watches the helplessness of this
little child not sent to earth to endure such
pain but having done so now needs
the love which was not there when her
soul cried out for someone to love her

He feels a quiver in his hand and looks
to see the hand he held is now released
and walking to the little door is the woman
she was before he took her by the hand
to walk with her into her world where
hurt, pain and rejection were all that
surrounded the heart of a tiny child

He watches this woman as she opens
the little door and beckons for the tiny
child to come to her, making his tears
flow freely as he sees the little girl
crawl out into the waiting arms of
the woman who understands all and knows
what is needed by this little one is love

The woman embraces the child in herself
and the two together cling tightly as
their tears mingle in complete understanding
and a love that she has long kept
from herself feeling somehow the
child in her was to blame for the
violence and pain witnessed in her life

Taking the child by the hand and with great
love she then leads her to Memories Healer
where putting her hand again in his
she feels the magic work that now blends
the little child with her as her spirit enters the
woman to always be loved and protected
from this memory that will not return again

He leads her back through the mist
and kissing her upon her eyes lays her
back upon her bed as tears flow freely
from both their eyes as she returns to
sleep where a small part of peace resides
within her soul which has finally visited
the fear she had from behind the Little Door

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

© Copyright 2002 Karen Torbiak - All Rights Reserved
amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
1 posted 2002-02-10 08:18 PM


Karen,

Thank you...this is really beautiful.  I am so sorry for what you have been through.

I think the length is perfect.  It does take along time to heal.  Takes a long time to contemplate and mentally conquor all the angles.

I must say, I am always amazed at the love and concern in this world that is given.  We all carry our crosses...so to speak...and yet it really does surprise me at the capacity of people to give.

You are an inspiration!!!

Silver Streak
Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625
FL, USA
2 posted 2002-02-10 08:24 PM


Karen, my heart is deeply grieved. My soul bleeds deeply. I will always vividly remember your story, and always keep a special little room in my heart for all children and women who suffer abuse.

May this deep, deep story from your broken heart be used by God to help others heal. Thank you ever so much for sharing. My heart will always remember and share your pain.

A love of mine once told me that Love is to be multiplied; pain is to be divided. I multiply my love to you, and gladly with God's help, accept your division of pain forever in my heart.
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
3 posted 2002-02-10 08:28 PM


This poem brought tears to my eyes...

Told me a lot about a little girl...one who
blamed herself for so many years...one
that grew into a woman...still hating that
little girl...

But it wasn't her fault...

And I am glad you know that...

Thank you Karen...for sharing this with me,
with us all...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2002-02-10 08:43 PM


Karen, this had to have been a most difficult write for you...almost to relive it once again.  But, also a time for healing and a time to realize you are very deserving of love, as we all are.  Thank you for this extremely emotional piece which must have left you drained, physically and emotionally.
~Hugs to you dear lady, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
5 posted 2002-02-10 08:53 PM


Karen...Thanks for sharing this very personal poem with us.
I am so sorry for your pain.  You are a wonderful angel here at passions.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

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