navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #18 » Window Time
Open Poetry #18
Post A Reply Post New Topic Window Time Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2002-02-05 06:42 PM



Window Time

stretching
lolling
soaking up the sun
yawning
fawning
till one side is done

climbing down
strolling ‘cross the floor
seeking some nibbles
till I go for more

if I lolled a-west
now I’ll loll t’east
drinking in the sunshine
a winter time feast

measuring the sofa
four lengths or more of me
finding just the spot
to keep sun company

tail up, tail down
whiskers curl into a grin
dreaming of a country mouse
with whiskers on his chin

©February 5, 2002


I want to change one of the whiskers in the last stanza, don't like having two of them in such close proximity. Ideas? Maybe "crumbs upon" the mouse's chin? Something else curling into a grin, but what? Lips only has one syllable and it's boring.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

© Copyright 2002 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-02-05 07:43 PM




(smiles) Ooohhhhhhhh...this is soooooooo cute, sweet friend, imagine that! (giggles) I love this poem just the way it is, we all love you so much, this is fabulous! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Virginia, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

2 posted 2002-02-05 07:45 PM


OH VAS this is so sweet,,, hey how about
"sweet lips"  great poem. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #18 » Window Time

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary