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Open Poetry #18
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Streen
Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169


0 posted 2002-02-02 04:37 PM


in a big brick house

life is always not what:
         it seems
in a  big-brick-house;
it can be cozy
and: dandy;
   the fires warm, the beds
to be hospitable;
but it is not always:
   its seams
     aren't always sealed,
and the doors
   not always shut;
drafts can seap in.
     as can ill
sentiments and
    tears can soak;
  through the creaks
     and cracks
in the fabric of we who
     here live.


© Copyright 2002 Derek Benz - All Rights Reserved
sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
1 posted 2002-02-02 04:42 PM


Like that old saying,everything that glitters is not gold.Nice write!
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-02-02 05:02 PM




(smiles) Soooooooo very-well expressed, sweet friend, yep, it can be so fascinating and miraculous all the many ways we feel behind closed doors and windows of the soul! (big hugggssssss) This is such a wonderful poem, sweet friend, you are a delight to us all! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Streen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2002-02-02 05:07 PM



I like the sentiment but am confused at the use of colons and semicolons...

'splain, please?

Streen
Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169

4 posted 2002-02-02 05:10 PM


Each individual colon and semicolon has a purpose, so it's really hard to explain what all of them have in general; I suppose, however, that I will just try to sum it up that their purpose (albeit not grammatically acceptable) is to add emphasis to certain parts and change the way it normally would be read by breaking up parts and creating patterns.
rebekah33
Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 140
MD/NJ
5 posted 2002-02-02 08:17 PM


Don't just a book by it's covers as the cliche goes.  Hurt and pain can exist anywhere.
-R.

"So stop and love and dance and live and laugh until you cry" Edwin McCain

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
6 posted 2002-02-02 08:27 PM


an apparent home sweet home situation under
a magnifying glass, I liked this


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