»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #18
»
Broken Mirror
| Open Poetry #18 |
|
Broken Mirror |
|
|
DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
I look into a mirror But I see not the happy face To me the truth is clear I see a soul as bleek as space I stare long into the Abyss And goals I make But by miles I tend miss And the mirrors I see break Trully the Mirrors are whole But my future I do not dare It is my broken Soul And my spirit that do not care http://www.heisen.net Peace Through War, it is beginning! |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Samson C. Justice - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
DragonFang, thank you for sharing this.  -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com |
||
|
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
I like the poem and its message but would touch up the second stanza to read: I stare long into its abyss as my goals I dare to make but by miles I tend to miss and the spotted mirrors break. just a suggestion to obtain a uniform meter here there are a couple of typos too, bleek should be bleak and the last line should have does instead of do. [This message has been edited by ecrivan (01-30-2002 11:27 PM).] |
||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Your links and homepage require a password. Your poem was interesting. Do you see the world as being completely fragmented? What do you mean by Peace Through War? Is heisen an RPG? Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Ignorance did. I am forever curious. |
||
|
DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
ecrivan, I was crying a rather lot when i wrote it, so the typos are really no suprise at all. Glad you liked it. Midnitesun, My web site was recently (claimed) to be hacked. Until the administrators give me the okay every is locked down. Heisen is indeed YES an RPG. If you email me I'd be more than happy to tell you all about it. It is of mine and some of my close friends devising. Anyway, I'd go on for a long time and don't want to take up that much space here. Oh, and no, I don't see reality as fragmented, but my soul. http://www.heisen.net Peace Through War, it is beginning! [This message has been edited by DragonFang (01-31-2002 02:03 PM).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
