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Open Poetry #18
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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2002-01-25 07:23 PM




Buy One - Get One Free

You get two for the price of one!Can it be?
I’m just buying one and then getting one free?

“I’ll take TWO of those please”, I said to the clerk.
“Then that’s FOUR be bagged”, she said witha smirk

“No, No, I want TWO, One is paid, One is free”

“ Then your not getting TWO, as you stated to me
Your just getting ONE, and the other one’s free
You should have said ONE and not TWO, don’t you see”

“All right, it is ONE then, but please bag me TWO
ONE is on me and the other’s on you”
She laughed as she bagged them all shiny and new
“ Nothing is free, dear, you’re paying for TWO”

“Paying for, TWO? I’m just paying for mine
The second is free like it says on the sign”

“You’re paying for both, dear, it’s clear as the day
For the first one is worth only half what you paid
So your getting the two and your paying their worth
It’s the greatest marketing tactic on earth
Not only are you paying the regular price
You’re paying it ONCE and you’re paying it TWICE!
The free one’s not free, dear, you’re just buying TWO
For the price of just ONE, but the joke is on you!!”

“Now let me see if this makes any sense
I paid a whole buck but it’s worth fifty cents
But since I have two, their value ‘s a buck
But by my calculations, I think I’m in luck

Since there only worth half , I was gypped out of TWO
So you owe me TWO more, then I’m even with you
So I emptied the TWO on the counter once more”
I said, “Clerk, would you please reimburse me for FOUR
Since the sign says a buck for each one on the rack
I’m giving you FOUR and get FOUR dollars back”

She reluctantly gave me four bucks from the drawer
And was scratching her head as I walked out the door
She carefully pulled out a pencil and pad
As she quietly whispered, "I think I've been Had"


[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (01-25-2002 07:28 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-01-25 07:38 PM




(sigh) Oh dear, those deals can always have those catches! (giggles) Such a wonderful poem depicting storewide sales, sweet friend, I too can never understand them sometimes! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is wonderful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Elizabeth, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-01-25 07:56 PM



Ah Math.  Yikes!  I remember this from before, and it still brings a smile to my face...

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

3 posted 2002-01-25 08:32 PM


HAHAHAHA I am falling off my chair with this one, I must show this to my husband, He is always arguing with the clerks..what a great original poem, and only you could pull it off Liz, floria---  big

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2002-01-26 11:31 PM


Oh Liz you have a wonderful sense of humor, and I had to read it three times until I figured out the logic of the money transactions in that poem, that was just the funniest thing I have ever read, and I had to print it out.     That was so special, and oh so funny!

<font face="monotype corsiva">~*  Carpe' Diem  *~

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
5 posted 2002-01-26 11:37 PM



  You really can write about any topic, can't you?     I remember reading this when I first joined Passions and I loved it then too. Well expressed, Liz.

Take care,
Melissa~


"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

[This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (01-26-2002 11:38 PM).]

NapalmsConstantlyConfused
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529

6 posted 2002-01-26 11:46 PM


hahahahahahahahaha
-Dave

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
7 posted 2002-01-27 04:31 AM


THis poem was inspired by an experience I had as a young mother with very little Christmas money. I bought a train set for $35 dollars ON SALE - a great deal. Then after Christmas it was $10, and I knew they were still making money on it!
I never forgot that
Thanks for your comments
Liz

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