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Open Poetry #18
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2002-01-25 09:28 AM


love stories
are better on tv
when housed inside
some metal cage
with a looking glass

in a room
without electric
under a spit ocean
with ear muff hands
that deftly listen

than in my dreams
where they pry open my eyes
with rocking chair feet
and press themselves
like wallpaper

over my breathing holes
making me taste
their smeared paste
of rub it in empty
as I wait for another dream

of her just blinking an eye

©Dark


[This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (01-25-2002 10:44 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
1 posted 2002-01-25 04:16 PM


DS~
I read between the lines on this.....vivid images...nicely put....


Lauren~

Twas not into my ears you whispered
but into my heart.
Twas not my lips you kissed,
but my soul

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2002-01-25 04:41 PM


DS

The way you write is interesting and provocative.  I like that.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2002-01-25 05:34 PM


Lauren, thank you for your read lady L

Martie, I appreciate your comments very much

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2002-01-30 02:38 AM


LonelyStranger~

'where they pry open my eyes
with rocking chair feet
and press themselves
like wallpaper

over my breathing holes'


Very original thoughts here~
Enjoyed the read~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
       noles1@totcon.com                   

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2002-01-30 05:38 AM


Dark Stranger,
you should try sleeping with you head outside the bedclothes, that way there would be no more dreams of smothering love. lol
Seriously though what tangerine images you paint.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
6 posted 2002-01-30 05:44 AM


Marge, thank you sweet lady for your review and comments

Kethry, she doesn't smother me really, it is more the smothering of time waiting for her to return again

thank you so much

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
7 posted 2002-01-30 06:03 PM




(smiles) Ooohhhhhh...this is sooooooo creative, sweet friend, I love it! It seems all my love stories come in my dreams but I long for the day when I fall into my girls arms! (big hugggsssss) I love it, sweet friend, this is wonderful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

;rolling:

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

RosePetal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985
South Florida
8 posted 2002-01-30 06:28 PM


this is so cool, its very unique writing!
enjoyed

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

9 posted 2002-01-30 06:33 PM


Hmmm rose petal took the words right out of my mouth, I was about to say unique, Oh well, I'll say it anyway, UNIQUE very nice. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
10 posted 2002-01-30 06:37 PM


*sigh* now why is there a feeling of sadness....You are much more fulfilled when she is close in your embrace sharing the passions that flow between you....when apart you have a missing half to you...very interesting...I like the depth of your love for her...it is beautiful. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

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