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Open Poetry #18
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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2002-01-24 10:40 PM



She's coming tonight! She's coming tonight!
I can't believe it's true!
I'm acting like a nervous wreck...
I don't know what to do!
I took two showers and ate three rolls
Of Clorets for my breath.
She's coming tonight! She's coming tonight!
My God! I'm scared to death!

I watched her for so very long..
Stayed just a step behind.
She's never known the love or passion
Living in my mind.
I've always been her special friend
In whom she could confide.
But never had the strength to show her
How I feel inside.

The table's set...the china's placed,
The tablecloth is clean.
The dirty clothes are underneath
The bed to be unseen.
The furniture's been dusted and
I vacuumed every rug...
She's coming tonight! She's coming tonight!
Dear Lord, I need a drug!

Last week I finally got the nerve
To ask her for a date.
I knew that she would turn me down
But she said that was great!
I tried to make it nonchalant
To not scare her away.
I couldn't let her know how much
I've daydreamed of this day.

Sinatra's on the cd player...
Candles are aglow.
Three days I've worked my tail off
To make it all just so.
The food's cooked to perfection
And the wine is nicely chilled...
She's coming tonight! She's coming tonight!
I'm going to get killed!!!

For weeks I've watched the calendar,
Marked days off one by one.
There's no way I can get through this...
My Lord, what have I done?
She's such a queen - I worship her
I'm just a simple guy
And everyone's in love with her
But not as much as I.

The toilet seats are down, I hope.
There's no hair in the sink.
I cleaned the ring around the tub...
Soap dish ok, I think.
All burned-out bulbs have been replaced,
The ashtrays free of butts...
She's coming tonight! She's coming tonight!
And I am going nuts!!!

How could I have been so dumb?
What was I thinking of?
I'm not schooled in those subtle things
One needs for showing love.
I can't say how much that I care
'Cause that might make her go
But if I act too casual
Then how is she to know?

Will she be wise enough to look
Past all my frailties
To see the man inside of me
Who only wants to please?
Or will she think I'm just a guy
Who's trying to be nice?
She's coming tonight! She's coming tonight!
Dear Abby.....send advice!!!

Then, when it's time for her to go,
I'll gently squeeze her hand
And, if she doesn't squeeze mine back,
I'll try to understand.
She'll never know my heart is broken.
I will just pretend
That I'm completely satisfied
In being her good friend.

Oh, no! The hour is getting late!
I'd best do something quick!
It might be good to call her up
And tell her I got sick!
There's no way I can make it through...
I'm shivering with fear!
She's coming tonight! She's coming tonight!
Oh, no! The bell! She's here!!!!!      

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (01-24-2002 10:40 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
1 posted 2002-01-24 10:44 PM


*giggling wickedly* and I hope she makes the first move because you are just too scared to.... BRAVO!!! I could feel the sweaty palms of this poem. I love it. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

2 posted 2002-01-24 10:49 PM


HAHAHAHAH I am falling off my chair, and Baladeer you have no idea how much I need these good laughs, It is good for the soul. Oh gosh, how I loved the repitition of " shes coming tonight." I split a gut laughing and these lines"The toilet seats are down, I hope. There's no hair in the sink."  HAHAHA we all check those things when company is coming. You really sounded razzled in this poem. I felt it really happening, great write. " Poet" floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
3 posted 2002-01-24 11:00 PM


Oh Michael, I’m rolling on the floor with this one. Amazing how much preparation goes into getting ready for a date. I’d love to see a sequel to this.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2002-01-24 11:23 PM


ROFL ....

I stood upon your front porch steps,
Legs shaking … knees were locked …
I raised my hand, then put it down,
Too terrified to knock!

What would he say, what would he do?
Would he just close the door?!!!
Oh geez, I just can't take this
Nervous wait a moment more!

I closed my eyes, I took a breath,
I tried to count to ten ...
I lost my nerve at nine and so
I started back again.

First One … Would he be disappointed?
Two … Would I be shy?
Three …. Should I just turn away?
Now four … I want to cry!!!

Five … Why did I get that perm?
At Six … I stopped to breathe …
Seven … Oh my goodness now,
I think it's time to leave!!!

Eight … Can't find my tic-tacs, so
At nine … I grabbed my purse ….
Ten!  Oh heck, I'm knocking now,
I hope that he's seen worse!!!

Tap-tap-tap … I waited,
Then I tap-tap-tapped once more …
I rang the bell and paced until,
The latch turned on his door!

Ack! I screamed, and turned to run,
I tripped and plunked head first,
Upside down I toppled,
NOW … he's seen me at my worst!

*~*

LOL ... now I have to head to dreamland. Thank you for such a wonderfully poetic night Michael ... you have no idea how much I needed this tonight!!!!! Thank you!!!


[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (01-25-2002 08:56 AM).]

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
5 posted 2002-01-24 11:46 PM


Michael...this is another of your spectacular story poems....
Just make sure you keep those toilet seats down...that really impresses women.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
6 posted 2002-01-25 12:16 PM


l love this poem........
Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 2002-01-25 12:20 PM


I saw her legs up in the air
And then I saw the rest.
There was no doubt that I was seeing
This girl at her best!
But, being quite the gentleman
I rushed down to her side
I felt so bad for this poor girl
I really could have died!

She wasn't conscious, I could tell
And I was scared to death.
Mouth to mouth resucitation
Might return her breath
So I bent down and pressed my mouth
Against hers real tight
And felt a stirring in  her lips
Which filled me with delight!

Unfortunately, while I did this
Two old ladies passed
And when they saw the two of us
Their faces were aghast!
They ran the whole way to their house
Not making any stops
Then grabbed the phone with shaking hands
And called the frigging cops!!

Police car came and there we were..
My girl still half-passed out
Her skirt still up around her waist
Possessions strewn about.
My lips were still pressed to her mouth
While breathing heavily....
Before I knew that they were there
Those cops were cuffing me!!

I tried to make them understand
That it was a mistake
But they shoved me so hard I thought
My back was gonna break!
The girl still lay upon the sidewalk
Incoherently
And I could tell her lack of movement
Was not helping me!!!

They threw me in the back seat
And then drove me off to jail.
I'm sitting in the cell now
With no cash to post the bail.
I only wanted one nice night
With someone I adored
And now the State is kind enough
To give me room and board!!!


Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
8 posted 2002-01-25 12:27 PM


Balladeer,
What a pair you two make. If I didn't enjoy this so much I'd be green with envy. Just a ton of fun.

[This message has been edited by Larry C (01-25-2002 12:36 AM).]

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2002-01-25 07:42 AM


ROFL .... this is fun!!!

I woke up in a hospital,
A bump upon my head;
I glanced about the room,
And then I scrambled out of bed.

Now how on earth did I get here?
My head was awfully sore …
I wandered 'cross the room
And peeked my head out of the door.

I saw a man in uniform,
Just out and to the right,
With doctors, nurses moving 'round,
It gave me quite a fright!

I felt a draft behind my gown,
I got a sudden chill …
The paper napkin that I wore
Just didn't fit the bill!

I searched for my belongings,
Dressed myself and grabbed my purse;
The bump upon my noggin seemed
To throb … was getting worse.

I walked into the bathroom,
Threw some water on my face,
I looked into the mirror
At a face I couldn't place.

What was my name? It slipped my mind,
My memory was lost …
What had I done to land me here?
And "who" had paid the cost??

I gathered up my property,
Assuming it was mine,
And snuck right past the officer,
Before he could decline.

I ran outside and found a park,
Sat down to calm myself,
My head was aching awfully bad,
No, not my best of health.

I opened up the purse and
Checked the contents found inside,
I found a driver's license,
That was "ME" there … un-denied!

But "who" was "I"??? I searched for clues,
Though nothing came to mind,
Until I found a scrap of paper ...
Read it line by line.

It was a poem … a lovely verse,
My thoughts came rushing back …
The moment that I saw
His signature in white and black!

The images came flooding in …
My knock ... the door ... I fell!
Then hmmmmm ... (remembered something sweet),
Then heard a woman yell!

Some men in blue had hauled him off,
His hands in cuffs ... I think ...
Oh NOOOO!!!!  I jumped up off the bench ...
They took him to the clink!!!!  

I got directions frantically,
And ran toward the jail ...
Oh my!  I hope my wallet has
Enough to make his bail!!!

     

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (01-25-2002 09:07 AM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2002-01-25 09:35 AM


LOL...So pleased I waited until morning to read this gutsplitted piece!  I wouldn't have been able to calm down and sleep for giggling.  Michael as if yours wasn't funny enough, which is was...when I started to read down...well, between you and Kit!!  This one is a keeper!  I'll be walking around thinking about this story all day.  Thank you for the chuckles and also to Kit for her comical poetic responses.  
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Charisma
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since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
11 posted 2002-01-25 09:50 AM


ohhhhh Balladeer this is sooooooooo adorable cute.....glad you repost that one, but well all your post is worth to read and reread.

love it dear Deer

Charisma

Mistletoe Angel
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Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
12 posted 2002-01-25 09:55 AM




(giggles in delight) Uh oh, is there something in the oven burning? (smiles) Your wonderful words always make me smile, sweet friend, oh dear, I have never been on a date yet and I hope I can get through a night like this OK! (giggles nervously) We all love you so much, sweet friend, you are a delight to us all! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
13 posted 2002-01-25 10:00 AM


Very humorous and enjoyable!Nice job!
Canuckster
Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285
New Mexico, USA
14 posted 2002-01-25 10:14 AM


I've read this thread in rapt int'rest
It's really very good!
This tale of woe-befallen love
Is funny, (knock on wood)

This "Comedy of Errors" flows
And entertains us lots
I feel like Andy Griffith watching
Juanita and Don Knotts!

I hope you two remain happy
With love's discovery
My pity goes first and foremost
To the insurance industry!!!

never try to teach a pig to sing
it wastes your time AND annoys the pig

Marsha
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since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
15 posted 2002-01-25 12:26 PM


’Deer dear heart I really love this poem it is UTTERLY utterly fabulous. Yes I know I always say that but then you always write to utter perfection. This has always been one of my favourites, and YES it’s true I always say that too. This does hold a very special place in my memory, and even if my memory has more holes than Swiss cheese I remember this one. It is utterly wonderful writing, as always your metre is perfect and the construction is fabulous. A brilliant piece of writing. Between you and Kit I'm giggling like a loon. Wonderful writing the pair of you


I’m sorry I simply couldn’t resist doing a poetic reply, forgive me? please

He’s Coming Tonight

He’s coming tonight it’s our second date
Maybe I’d better try not rushing this gate
I’ve prepared the dinner everything’s done
So how do I move the situation on?
Should I act coy and pretend I’m shy
No, he’d never believe that barefaced lie
Should I offer him wine or perhaps a beer?
Hurry up and come, oh the time draws near

He’s coming here for his dinner tonight
Oh help I want to keep it nice and light
I’ve got candles I look better when softly lit
I only hope this night will be a hit
There’s music playing I’ll keep it quite low
And permit the wine and the beer to flow
Should I make my move tonight do you think?
Oh lord how much should I let him drink?

He’s coming tonight and he’ll be here soon
Oh my look there’s going to be a full moon
Is this a good sign what if he turns odd on me?
Perhaps I should change the beer for a cup of tea
Do you think the atmosphere is right?
What about candles is there enough light?
Maybe I should give him a half-hour more
Oh goodness I’m nervous he’s at the door


Marsha


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy




To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1

[This message has been edited by Marsha (01-25-2002 09:00 PM).]

amigo
Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 520
the earth school
16 posted 2002-01-25 12:48 PM


Oh...my..this i'm having a gala time with...Balladeer and Kit....you guys are great...keep it going...
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
17 posted 2002-01-25 02:54 PM


What a great story this is...I am following this with avid interest, wondering how she is going to get him out of jail!
You two are UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
18 posted 2002-01-25 07:21 PM



A good post as a response...adequate, to say the least...LOL...very good, Balladeer!

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

19 posted 2002-01-25 08:50 PM


You made me smile with this one and I needed that tonight.  I imagine I'd feel exactly the same, though I hope I'd do the laundry rather than stuff it under the bed.
Balladeer
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Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
20 posted 2002-01-25 09:56 PM


They took me to a jail cell,
Removed my shoes and belt.
I guess they thought I'd hang myself
As lousy as I felt!
The floor was cold beneath my feet
I felt it to the bone
And, as I looked around, I saw
That I was not alone.

The group of thugs inside that cell
Sent shivers through my skin
And I began to realize
The pickle I was in.
One big guy licked his lips at me
My future looked quite slim.
I'd hoped to have a date, that's true,
But not, of course, with him!!!!

They closed around me in a circle..
Someone touched my hair.
Some  made obscene gestures
Blowing kisses in the air.
My breath was coming out in gasps
My skin was turning pale
And then I heard a voice call out,
"Hey, kid! You're out on bail!"

I flew out of that jail cell
As fast as I could go!
I saw her standing right outside
Beneath the streetlamp glow.
I said, "I'm sorry!" So did she!
And then we laughed so hard
That people passing thought that we
Came from the looney ward!!

I said, "I have a roast at home
That should be black by now
And wine that I am sure is warm
But drinkable somehow.
So, if you'ld like to try again
The hour is not too late.
I'd hate to miss the chance I had
To have you for a date."

She smiled, reached up and kissed my cheek
Then took me by the hand.
She said, "A shame to lose a night
So eloquently planned."
Then off we walked into the night
The problems all had passed.
We finally had our first date and
It wouldn't be the last!



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
21 posted 2002-01-25 11:29 PM


LOL .... Ahhhh Michael!  Splendid!  

An absolutely priceless ending to this series ... loved it 'deer poet, just loved it!  No question that down the road we'll have to pick up where this one left off, lol.  

I had a pretty rough week this week personally .... and this poetic ping-pong has been a blessing to me. You are such a treasure. You just keep me smiling, and I can't thank you enough for that!

Thank you to everyone too, for all of the wonderful comments you've made, and for following along with this little impromptu story. Your sentiments have been so genuinely appreciated.

Big hugs to all,
/Kit

Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
22 posted 2002-01-25 11:48 PM


I agree completely! Warmest thanks to you all that join in and follow our silliness. It wouldn't work without you!

Kit...you're the greatest! Thank you for being you

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
23 posted 2002-01-26 11:41 PM


The second I saw the title I started laughing, and read three lines and stopped because I didn't want to read it in pieces.  Well, I finally got around to reading this whole hilarious sequence of events in poetry and I have to tell you both, I am very proud to know you.  You are both fantastic poets and fantastic people.

<font face="monotype corsiva">~*  Carpe' Diem  *~

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