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Open Poetry #18
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strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859


0 posted 2002-01-24 08:14 PM


This is true, I had to quit school and work to feed my mom and sisters and brothers..If my dad was still living, I would not have written this..I posted it on another board and there was much controversy about the word "lying" and " laying"
Several english teachers told me "lying" was correct. any one have anything to say about it, is fine with me. thanks

************************************************

Perhaps He Was Dead

Children are hungry, mouths to be fed.
Mother is crying,lying on her bed.
Where is the father?
Perhaps he is dead.

Crowded at the table.
Crowded in the bed.
Children need clothing.
What's more to be said.
Where is the father?
Perhaps he is dead.

Off to the races, pay in his hand.
Not a care or worry, now isn't life grand?
While children are waiting,
For food to be fed.
Mother lays crying on her bed.
Where is the father?
Perhaps he is dead.

Feeding the horses,
With hard money earned.
Number one on his list,
As on the track they turned.
Scoring a win, with cash in hand.
Isn't life grand, Isn't life grand?
While mother is crying,
Lying on her bed.
Where is the father?
Perhaps he is dead.

I never knew him.
This man who sired me.
I was not lucky, his daughter to be.
As he grew older and illness set in.
I was the one, to care for him.

Mother was lying, on her bed.
Desperately sobbing, on her bed.
Where was the father?
The father was dead.
Throughout his lifetime.
To us he was dead.

Floria
© 2001





[This message has been edited by strbbux (01-24-2002 08:17 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Floria Kelderhouse - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-01-24 08:20 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Floria, this poem about broke my heart, my heart goes out to you and your whole family for having to live through this loss! (wipes tears) I know how hard it musy have been to cope with this and to care for your family in his absence, but also we're all so proud of you for having cared for your family so much and they will always love you so much, just as your dad will always be smiling down upon you from above, thanking Him for having such a loving child like you! (BIG HUGGGSSSSSSSS) This is soooooooo sad, sweet freind, my heart goes out to you always, we all love you so much! God Bless You!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Floria, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2002-01-24 08:27 PM


my instinct tells me to go with "lying" but I'm not an English Teacher   That being said, this brought back some memories.  It's emotional writing isn't it? I mean, it's therapy and all, but it's also very emotional for the writer.  I think because while we are pouring it out of us, along
with it are not only the old emotions but probably emotions that we didn't have then,
ones that came afterward, and in looking
back, well, we sure feel the same yet
different.

Here I go again, rambling.  

I sat down earlier today to write something
someone had asked me for, a favor, and I didn't finish it.  I didn't finish it because I simply could not relive the memory of the thing I was writing about.  Sometimes you can, sometimes you cannot.  

But I do know one thing.  When we put it down, we confront it there before us and
something happens, I'm not certain what or if I'm even making sense here but something happens to the writer when reading it back.

Maybe that's why I'm so drained

Anyway, this moved me, greatly.

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
3 posted 2002-01-24 08:27 PM


Oh my gosh...this poem is so heart felt that I cried through the whole reading of it. My heart goes out to any who have to suffer like this. **big big hugs** It took true love and courage for you to look after everyone as you did. **extra hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

4 posted 2002-01-24 08:32 PM


Thank you so much Noah, I never realized how very therapeutic it is to write it down. It has helped me tremendously to express what I feel. thank you for your tears. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

5 posted 2002-01-24 08:35 PM


Dear Irish Rose, I guess we do what we have to do. And at the time, I had to do it. Missed proms etc. but the family was first. And I never thought about anger, or anything bad about my dad. I loved him, but I didnt like him. Now I can write it out. He has been gone seven years..and it is very therapeutic for me. Of course. I also left it all with the Lord, and He saw me through. thanks for your love. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

6 posted 2002-01-24 08:36 PM


Thank you Startime, In a way, I was the one who received the blessing. Because it made me strong. thanks for your caring. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2002-01-24 08:49 PM


Floria, this is so sad..but, very well written.  
And, it does help to get it out.
~Hugs to you dear lady, luv Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
8 posted 2002-01-24 08:52 PM


Very heartfelt and sad.At least it made you stronger and you grew as a paerson.Very well done!
strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

9 posted 2002-01-24 08:54 PM


Thank you Enchantress. For your kind reply. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

10 posted 2002-01-24 08:55 PM


Thank you Sodpossom, Yes it did help me grow. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
11 posted 2002-01-24 09:11 PM


Many a father is like that Floria, my heart strings are pulled on this one; I wish you no further suffering and continued strength!


Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
12 posted 2002-01-24 09:47 PM


Wow, you’ve packed a power of feeling into this piece Floria. Sadly, this happens all too often. Though, it is through adversity and hard times, that we become strong and determined. And yes, it is very therapeutic to write it out

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

13 posted 2002-01-24 09:51 PM


Thank you Ecrivan for your kind words. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

14 posted 2002-01-24 09:52 PM


Tracy thank you for you very kind reply. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
15 posted 2002-01-24 10:00 PM


I hope everyone in the family appreciated your sacrifice...you did good...James
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
16 posted 2002-01-24 10:10 PM


floria this is the best work of yours I have read....excellent writing. The words, the flow, the feelings it invokes...all I can say is WOW! Lay or lie? The truth lies somewhere in between...let it lay
Silver Streak
Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625
FL, USA
17 posted 2002-01-24 10:30 PM


Hi floria:

You the poet are QUEEN. Using whatever you believe best expresses your soul is proper! Poetry must capture all feelings that Rules of English let fall through the cracks. Tell it like you feel it! Lying sounds wonderful to me!

This is indeed a wonderfully beautifully written poem. And there is only one way to get poison out of the soul. Look it straight in the eye and write about it! Hidden poisons only smother and make sickness and death.

God bless you, floria.
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

18 posted 2002-01-24 10:37 PM


Balladeer thank you so much, It means a lot to me to get input from such fine poets as yourself.Good or bad, I like to hear it. thank you for your kind words. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

19 posted 2002-01-24 10:38 PM


Thank you very much James, my mother always appreciated what I did. thank you so much. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

20 posted 2002-01-24 10:40 PM


Thank you so much Newell, I find there can be no resentments when you leave it all with God, and also writing it all out really and truly does help..and thank you, after all the wonderful replies on here, I guess it doesnt matter about the word, I will keep lying, it was my first choice. This poem was run over the coals because of that one word. Now that I look back I see how foolish that was. thanks Newell. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
21 posted 2002-01-25 12:12 PM


Feeding the horses,
With hard money earned.
"Number one on his list,
As on the track they turned.
Scoring a win, with cash in hand.
Isn't life grand, Isn't life grand?
While mother is crying,
Lying on her bed.
Where is the father?
Perhaps he is dead."
This story rings a familiar bell, I've seen it before. My daddy was a runaway, the bottle was his home. That's actually a song I wrote years ago. For him, it was drinking, not betting. But the results were similar. But see how strong you are today!

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
22 posted 2002-01-25 12:24 PM


I love all of your poems, Floria...but I think this one outpaces all of the others by far...I can feel the reality of it, can feel your hard work...
I too, have always found poetry to be very therapeutic...
This one is a powerhouse....
many hugs to you, Floria.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

23 posted 2002-01-25 07:37 AM


Midnitesun, I am sorry you also had to endure all that with the bottle. It is sad to lose ones youth. You can't go back. But you do get stronger because of it. thanks. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

24 posted 2002-01-25 07:38 AM


Madame chipmunk.Thank you for your kind reply and for the hugs..floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

25 posted 2002-01-25 04:13 PM


Midnitesun, Are you saying that you actually wrote these exact same words? that would be very strange indeed. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

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