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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-01-24 06:30 PM

I used to walk down
past the weathered barn.
There was a pond there.
I was safe from harm.
A child in dance makes up
for lack of grace--
honest tears upon
an honest face.

Imaginings, entwined,
with tendrils,
desperate
for the grasp of mind...

Upon a tree, inclined--
chipping bark with knife
of stabbing rhyme--
carving my face...
A salty circle--
serpentine
of sacred place...
I felt the grace
of a space
that knew not time....

I did not strive--
was born this way.
Born alone, I
felt misplaced...
within my loafers,
silver dime....
For luck, or just
a faith,
misplaced,
to rationalize?

Now I moan. I keen.
I do not wish to see.
Rocking, hugging knees...
alone am I again, unrealized.

[This message has been edited by serenity (01-24-2002 06:31 PM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-01-24 06:34 PM

ick...not happy with this one, but will save it for a rainy day's rewrite?

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-01-24 06:37 PM

(big hugggsssssssss) Oh Karen, this is sooooo sad, no one should ever feel isolated or unnoticed, my heart goes out to you and hope this is not a current feeling! (sigh) I too used to feel so misplaced I almost sacrificed myself when I felt no one loved me or understood me, but then, once I was able to realize the potential I had in my heart, I realize I belong, and deserve to be loved and to love others! (kiss on cheek) So very well expressed, sweet friend, we all love you so much, our hearts are with you! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2002-01-25 06:05 AM

tremendous! I do know this too well! And you put it into words that I never could

sodpossom
Senior Member

since 2001-06-15

Posts 723
N.C

4 posted 2002-01-25 11:01 AM

I would be happy if I wrote this.Very well put!

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2002-01-25 07:23 PM

Um...could I rewrite it and say it's mine? LOL

J/K!!!

I much enjoyed this..you have a lovely style and rhythm my dear.

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

6 posted 2002-01-26 10:43 AM

Just an opinion, but I don't think it needs a rewrite. There is such sadness here, that I hope is not hurting you.
Sandra

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 2002-01-27 10:22 PM

Karen this was fantastic, and if you change it will you send it to me as I kept it in my book of "Best of Passions" at home here. Thank you for your gift of poetry, and this truly was a "perfect" gift but so sad.

<font face="monotype corsiva">~* Carpe' Diem *~

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 727
Wisconsin

8 posted 2002-01-27 10:31 PM

Very beautifully written I must say!

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.

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