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Open Poetry #18
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Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

0 posted 2002-01-24 01:50 PM


Flipping across cognitive barriers
   of uninterrupted social undertones
   and dished out psychosomatic wimperings,
Driving down water-laced bi-ways
   on neural pathways cross-linked
   with sinister acts and dangerous ideas,
I'm blind to the rift in the asphalt,
   unmirrored by the oil blackened water,
   unenlightened by a setting golden orb.
I'm drowning in the depths of your words;
   kicking and flailing,
   breaking and resurfacing above your lofty ideas.

The undertow is immense, the tide crashes farther away.

There is no life boat in sight.

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb

© Copyright 2002 Philip Zemler - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-01-24 02:44 PM


I'm blind to the rift in the asphalt,
   unmirrored by the oil blackened water,
   unenlightened by a setting golden orb.
I'm drowning in the depths of your words;
   kicking and flailing,
   breaking and resurfacing above your lofty ideas.

The undertow is immense, the tide crashes farther away.

There is no life boat in sight.
======================================

have you been peeking in my windows?  
very cool write...deep and layered...
like the vocab and analogies.
Good to see you posting again M.I.
jm

I'm like a broken record that you can play ...
Repeating (as if it matters) ... everything I say.

Gin Blossoms

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2002-01-24 02:57 PM


Hey babycakes!

Loved the metaphors here---and no lifeboat, eh? Don't make me call the coastguard! Just put your arms around my neck and I'll get ya to shore!

Hugs you, glad to see you posting!

The Jackal
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A
3 posted 2002-01-24 03:09 PM


incredible visual imagery
   and i agree with your point of view
   awesome work

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
4 posted 2002-01-24 04:39 PM


you don't need a lifeboat to know which way the wind blows.... no, that's not it... you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows... bob dylan, 1967? can't remember, it was before my time... but this piece is excellent and timeless like me... hehe.... some really great lines in here, sweet raccoon!! so good to see you posting again!!

how's school? how's your parents? talk to james lately? *wink*

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2002-01-24 07:49 PM


You don't post often enough. And when you do, I am glad I didn't miss it! I have a spare lifboat somewhere, but sometimes the water moves too fast and you're better off learning to levitate....or swim faster?  
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2002-01-24 07:56 PM


Incredible write here....enjoyed thoroughly.
Post more often...please.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

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