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Open Poetry #18
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Vacuity
Junior Member
since 2002-01-22
Posts 12


0 posted 2002-01-23 09:51 PM



Tears pouring down my face
My past full of disgrace
Unforgiven, it lives inside

Water running down my back
My heart full of love I lack
Unforgiven, alone it hides

Blood running down my arms
My death does not alarm
Unforgiven, I slowly die


Rain pouring down on me
All your pain I can see
Unforgiven, you stand aside

Snow falling in our path
Our time here fading fast
Unforgiven, your heart confides

My walls falling all around
My heart scattered on the ground
Unforgiven, my pain subsides


Hatred pouring from our hearts
We can't stand being apart
Unforgiven, our love survives

© Copyright 2002 Claire Hall - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-01-23 10:19 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Such a heartaching write, sweet friend, I hope now the hate has subsided and compassion and forgiveness has come and now love has returned to your heart with trust and hope! (kiss on cheek) Soooooo very expressive, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Claire, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
2 posted 2002-01-23 10:20 PM


Vacuity - read this and liked what I read. Very different in the presentation. I'll look for more of yours...

BC

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-01-24 07:17 AM


this is a very unique and clever write, in its presentation & its rhyme scheme.
Strong haunting imagery, analogies and emote.
Powerful poetry.
Well done Vacuity.

I'm like a broken record that you can play ...
Repeating (as if it matters) ... everything I say.

Gin Blossoms

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
4 posted 2002-02-09 12:06 PM


A powerful poem...great write, Claire!

Nathan

Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
5 posted 2002-02-09 12:15 PM


Hatred pouring from our hearts
We can't stand being apart
Unforgiven, our love survives

This verse alone is enough to shatter even the coldest heart...~sigh~ Very sad...

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