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Open Poetry #18
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Greeneyes
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since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2002-01-23 12:11 PM


Letter to my lover in understanding my mind
~~~~~

The Narrow bridge
is broken, missing
boards of time
scattered below,
stones
of loss, and golden
moments

I walk through velvet
orchids trembling,
that
which creates
the dawn,
oceans haunt
for a
touch, your
presence upon
my lips

Silk shadows
and old
dreams pale
in moonlit
to any
comparison

You have
sought to
reach an
inner depth,
to see my
fears of the soul,
but I
carve my words across
distance,
intent becomes duty

I'd give a glimpse,
but would there
ever be enough
so see beauty?
There is more to
love then deep
desire, it blurs
a vision you can not see....

I bare myself
to your touch,
your fallen tears,
tasting the unknown,
kiss the lonely clouds

and measure the horizon


Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain



[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-23-2002 07:50 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

1 posted 2002-01-23 12:13 PM


Oh I love your words Greeneyes, "silk shadows, lonely clouds. lovely, floria

Floria
"learning, always learning."

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2002-01-23 12:14 PM


I often dream of bridges, to me they always meant fear.
Somehow this brought a sense of hope.
This is exquisite "velvet orchids" wow.
Wonderful writing, Lauren, truly.

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-01-23 12:16 PM


Lauren, not what I was expecting (but so little in life ever IS) I was expecting some rather dark and forboding as I have this recurring dream about a narrow bridge (no need to page Freud, that one is transclucent)
but anyhoo, I was delighted to find this lovely soft whisper of a poem. Like a word's caress...very sweet!

Victoria
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since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

4 posted 2002-01-23 12:17 PM


I bare myself
to your touch,
your fallen tears,
tasting the unknown.
to kiss the lonely clouds
and measure the horizon


Beautiful words Lauren..and a lovely meaning behind them..hugs

           ~Victoria~

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.

                                                -Ziggy

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2002-01-23 12:30 PM


"I'd give a glimpse,
but would there
ever be enough
so see beauty?
There is more to
love then deep
desire, it blurs
a vision you can not see...."




(sigh) Ooohhhhhh...this is sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, such hope fills your words and may you forever build bridges to tomorrow outside of desire and find true happiness always! (kiss on cheek) I love it, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
6 posted 2002-01-23 12:48 PM


Any bridge is a way of reaching out.
Even with "broken, missing boards scattered below", it just means you need to be sure of your steps.
Perhaps awkward and time consuming, but certain and true.
Strength lies within the want, and the will shall prevail.
Keep an eye on your horizon, I sense those kissing clouds stirring.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2002-01-23 01:07 PM


Greeneyes,
You walk lightly but quickly. Enjoyed

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2002-01-23 01:16 PM


Lovely words Greeneyes...James
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2002-01-23 01:34 PM


I walk through velvet
orchids trembling,
that
which creates
the dawn
and oceans haunt,
for a
touch, your
presence upon
my lips

Silk shadows
and old
dreams pale
in moonlit
to any
comparison

You have
sought to
reach an
inner depth,
to see my
fears of the soul,
but I
carve my words across
distance,
intent becomes duty
=======================


to understand you ... is to love you ...
to know you ... one only needs to read you...
for you are poetess of exception and grace.

                      

I'm like a broken record that you can play ...
Repeating (as if it matters) ... everything I say.

Gin Blossoms

A Tone of Voice
Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287

10 posted 2002-01-23 02:34 PM


this is lovely, you have a way of expressing
your thoughts that create emotional colors,
an experience.....not soon forgotten


*S*

Atov

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
11 posted 2002-01-23 02:37 PM


"There is more to love than deep desire"


How very well stated, my friend.  

"Love begins with the eyes, is grown in the heart and ends with an open ear" ~Michael Auguste

You've said this very well, Lauren.  I hope he listens.  Peace to you and *hugs*

Michael

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.  

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
12 posted 2002-01-23 09:38 PM


Greeneyes - very in depth, but the question is can he see the words, and listen???

BC

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
13 posted 2002-01-23 09:42 PM


*sigh* such yearning fills these words that open your heart to him...I pray he hears the depth of your love for him and response to it in a way that fills your desires..**big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

DarkAngelChelle
Member
since 2001-12-06
Posts 87
Kansas
14 posted 2002-01-23 09:43 PM


This piece just left me breathless ... so much emotion and depth ... I, too, was expecting something darker and sad, but this was a wonderful, light breath of air.  Thanks for sharing it with us.

~What is cherished most is what must be the hardest fought for.~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
15 posted 2002-01-23 09:53 PM


and old
dreams pale
in moonlit
to any
comparison

Yes to all of it but those are the lines that reeled me in.    
Your words are always so delicate and soft to the touch.  

(I think it's reeled, now where did I put my spell checker)    

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (01-23-2002 09:54 PM).]

JAR
Junior Member
since 2001-11-06
Posts 34

16 posted 2002-01-24 02:30 PM




the bridge may be narrow
but it is stable
and if not
  JAR

The Jackal
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A
17 posted 2002-01-24 03:12 PM


very beautiful,honest piece,
take care

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
18 posted 2002-01-25 11:52 AM


Thank you all.....time has not been on my side....pls forgive me for not responding to each of you....Be well Be Safe all...


all


  
Lauren~


Twas not into my ears you whispered
but into my heart.
Twas not my lips you kissed,
but my soul

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-25-2002 11:53 AM).]

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
19 posted 2002-01-25 11:49 PM


A very beautiful soft, whispery poem, Lauren....I often have dreams about bridges and I think its because bridges are loaded with hidden meaning...
such as the bridge between life and death,
between the generations, between sleep and wakefulness etc.
I loved your poem!

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
20 posted 2002-01-26 12:43 PM


Lauren,

"There is more to
love then deep
desire, it blurs
a vision you can not see....

I bare myself
to your touch,
your fallen tears,
tasting the unknown,
kiss the lonely clouds"

Wow! I'm not sure what to say. Passion put in its place...wow.

[This message has been edited by Larry C (01-26-2002 12:44 AM).]

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
21 posted 2002-01-26 10:11 AM


Lrya~ and Larry~

Thank you for coming by....

I enjoyed your comments, and kindness....


Lauren~



Thoughts slide out
of hiding and cling
to anything I put
in front of them.
Words bead up
like dew and in
a moment,
will be accessible.

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-26-2002 10:11 AM).]

sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
22 posted 2002-01-26 02:12 PM


Beautiful words and images!
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
23 posted 2002-01-26 06:30 PM


Greeneyes,
this bit said it all for me,
"but I carve my words across distance,"
There is more than one kind of distance that amkes a narrow bridge.
I loved it
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
24 posted 2002-01-26 07:16 PM


My humble thanks to you....
Lauren~


Step through the
barrier of my mind,
enter my soul,
feel my desire,
let my eyes guide you
into the shadows
of my heart

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (01-26-2002 07:17 PM).]

Larry C
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Member Patricius
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Posts 10286
United States
25 posted 2002-01-28 01:55 AM


*bump*
rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
26 posted 2002-01-28 06:09 AM


This is exactly why my Mother said "don't burn all your bridges darling" so very lovely you are and the depth of this is astounding. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Regina

bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

27 posted 2002-09-04 01:45 PM


Lauren,
I love watching your words
grow.

Mike

Larry C
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since 2001-09-10
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United States
28 posted 2002-10-21 03:05 AM


Lauren,
I never tire of your writing. And this is so lovely and full of meaning. Miss ya'!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

bsquirrel
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since 2000-01-03
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29 posted 2002-12-19 01:14 PM


You always leave me speechless.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
30 posted 2003-01-01 03:35 AM


awesome write!
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