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Open Poetry #18
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Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
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Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2002-01-22 01:15 AM



ebb within this heart
      beaten back
   can we be
   test of me
       color of black
where do I start?


put away from the rest
      cut lose the bind
   hum the tune
   ending soon
      within this mind
given all my best

conceive with me
      night of pine
   give of smile
   in witch’s while
      take of mine
soul's poetry

© Copyright 2002 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

1 posted 2002-01-22 01:36 AM


Seldom does a poem, let alone a 'ramble'...leave me speechless.  I've read this 4 times.  You had my attention at the first verse.  And held it...even at this hour.  This is most incredible.
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-01-22 08:32 AM




(smiles) Soooooooo wonderfully inventive, sweet friend, I too have these ramblings all the time, like I'm dreaming on and on and a soundtrack of melodies is playing as I rest my head and both smile and cry! (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, I just love the wonderful words you write, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Poet deVine
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2002-01-22 08:48 AM


ebb within this heart
put away from the rest
where do I start?
given all my best
conceive with me
soul's poetry

      beaten back
            color of black
      cut lose the bind
          within this mind
      night of pine
           take of mine


can we be
   test of me
hum the tune
   ending soon
give of smile
   in witch’s while


*there are myriad ways to put this together...

Moonlight Romeo
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Senior Member
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982
The heart of you
4 posted 2002-01-22 09:15 AM


Magnetic poetry taken to another level??  I love this idea. With phrases instead of words.

I would say that this "Ramble" is merely an exercise in shape and form, and one that's done very well.  

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 2002-01-22 10:01 AM


You do ramble well, PdV - I'll have to give this a try myself...
mauddib
Member
since 2002-01-12
Posts 119
melbourne australia
6 posted 2002-01-22 02:24 PM


The style is refreshing, simialar to triads in music and so it also had that 3/4 time.
I would gladly take from you and feed the soul poetry, as of conceiveing.............

His Poet
Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750

7 posted 2002-01-22 02:35 PM


Poet, this was enjoyable and a fun variation. I do like your second version the best. Well done and interesting poetry. Cheryl
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
8 posted 2002-01-22 04:30 PM


Poet deVine~

soul's poetry to read these words...Fantastic Ramble indeed....I ramble a lot as well, but nothing like this...


Lauren~

Tomorrow's another day
and I'm thirsty any way
so bring on the rain

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
9 posted 2002-01-22 10:45 PM


this has a megnetism to it o yuh
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2002-01-24 05:46 PM


Actually I'm with Walty on this... very magnetic. I enjoyed Sharon
I like this style from you.

Maree

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