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Open Poetry #18
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strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859


0 posted 2002-01-21 09:42 AM



Between The Land and Sky

Between the land and sky am I.
With others on our quest of life.
For this is where He does set me.
Until the day He sets me free.
And so it be.
Between the sky and moon is He.
For He is everywhere you see
And everywhere you do not see
For only He knows, Only He
And so it be.
Above the clouds and over all the stars
Above the planets Jupiter and Mars
Are places we might never know
Until the day that He does show
And so it be
Between the land and under to it's core.
In the darkest places we've yet to explore.
Only He who made the universe you see.
Knows of all those places secretly.
And so it be.
And under waters calm and waters fierce
As fishermen the waters sometimes curse.
Are worlds we know not of and never might
Until the day He brings it all to light
And so it be
And so it be

Floria





[This message has been edited by strbbux (01-21-2002 10:26 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Floria Kelderhouse - All Rights Reserved
Rex Allen McCoy
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since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
1 posted 2002-01-21 09:50 AM


Very well penned ... nice flow and the repetitive lines add to the flavour

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2002-01-21 10:14 AM


Well penned Floria.  Your words indeed hold a wisdom.  *s*

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Victoria
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since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

3 posted 2002-01-21 10:22 AM


Between the land and sky am I.
With others on our quest of life.
For this is where He does set me.
Until the day He sets me free.
And so it be.



Enjoyed your lovely words Floira.. HUGS

              ~Victoria~

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.

                                                -Ziggy

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2002-01-21 12:52 PM


This is a beautiful piece, full of wondrous truth. The only spot that gave me stumble was here:

Between the land and under to it's core.
                                                   There lies a place we know not what it's for.

But, I can't say I know how to smoothe it out. This  really is a luscious piece!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

5 posted 2002-01-21 12:55 PM


Thank you Rex very much for your reply. floria
strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

6 posted 2002-01-21 12:56 PM


Thank you very much Gentle spirit, for your reply. floria
strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

7 posted 2002-01-21 12:58 PM


Victoria, thank you so much for your kind reply. floria
strbbux
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since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

8 posted 2002-01-21 01:00 PM


VAS I love how you get deep into my poems and feel free to speak your mind. Now, I also look at it and don't know what to do..Well, I will leave it open for any suggestions. Thank you kindly for your honest and kind reply. floria


maybe I could leave out that whole stanza?

[This message has been edited by strbbux (01-21-2002 01:26 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-01-21 01:10 PM




(smiles) Ooohhhhhh...I just had to read this one again, I believe there is a place where true total harmony exists and that someday we may embrace His realm of heavenliness. (kis on cheek) Soooooo gorgeous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Floria, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

10 posted 2002-01-21 01:27 PM


Thank you kindly Noah, floria
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
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just out of reach
11 posted 2002-01-21 02:05 PM


floria, aah yes, and so it shall and always will be. Lovely. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
12 posted 2002-01-21 02:21 PM


Me again.

Between the land and deep within its core
Bring queries that arise to a full score

aargh!

I wouldn't say to leave out the lines, but find a way to say them that doesn't sound like a forced rhyme...the example I've tried does not accomplish that, alas.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

13 posted 2002-01-21 02:36 PM


VAS you have me laughing so hard I am going to fall off my chair. I don't think yours is so bad. This is a real challenge. what of these? the harder I try the sillier they sound.

Between the land and to it's inner core.
There lies a place of which we do abhor.

Between the land and to it's core so deep.
There lies a place which causes us to weep.  
( causes us to weep is,  I'm thinking   because that is where we bury our dead? )

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

14 posted 2002-01-21 02:37 PM


Chris, thank you very much, as you can see we are having a bit of fun with this piece. Oh my,, Heeeeeeeeelp. floria
Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
15 posted 2002-01-21 03:29 PM


Floria,  No...we do not know what these
places hold for us UNTIL...He comes for us
each...I think you have said it very well.
Thank You..

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

16 posted 2002-01-21 03:33 PM


Oh Thank you Magnus, I will get serious again now, we were just struggling over some words above. I do appreciate always your response. floria
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
17 posted 2002-01-21 09:55 PM


Beautifully deep and mystical, Floria...
and extremely well written.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

brianbeaudry
Member
since 2001-07-20
Posts 410
Northern Ontario Canada
18 posted 2002-01-21 10:08 PM


I wouldn't get rid of the lines Floria,here is a suggestion...


Between the land and under to it's core.
In the darkest places we've yet to explore

Even without changes, this is a keeper, and a great message to boot!!!

[This message has been edited by brianbeaudry (01-21-2002 10:16 PM).]

GenXer
Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583
USA
19 posted 2002-01-21 10:16 PM


Floria - Very good.  I really liked the title and how you worked different versions of it in each stanza. There are so many things we don't understand and will never know or see while we are here on earth.  Of couse I understand everything, but no one else does.lol   

Dave  

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

20 posted 2002-01-21 10:17 PM


Thank you Madame, very much, floria
strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

21 posted 2002-01-21 10:18 PM


HAHAH ok, Dave, I will remember that you know everything next time I need to have a question answered. thanks, floria
strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

22 posted 2002-01-21 10:21 PM


Brian,, thank you.. So someone has come to my rescue. I needed a subtle change, and I do believe this is it..
Between the land and under to it's core.
In the darkest places we've yet to explore

I love it. doesnt change anything but is more polished than mine. THANK YOU MANY MANY TIMES. floria  ((((hugs))))

brianbeaudry
Member
since 2001-07-20
Posts 410
Northern Ontario Canada
23 posted 2002-01-21 10:36 PM


You are most welcome Floria, it may be me asking for help next time..lord knows I need it most times LOL



Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
24 posted 2002-01-21 11:01 PM


BRAVO!!!OH yes indeed this poem is absolute perfection...I love how He is ....*sigh* BRAVO!!!!You touch the soul with your poems..Thank you. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

25 posted 2002-01-22 09:55 AM


Thank you Startime you lift my confidence. floria
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