Phases of the Moon (re-edited)

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ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

0 posted 2002-01-20 02:12 PM

Phases of the Moon

In step to the phases of the moon
We dance to a loony tune
Look how slices of life are marooned
from failed expectations that once ballooned.

voyages that shoot out like arrows,
explorers travel light in its shadows
there is fear in facing the old,
their path once paved in gold

monuments crumble under its reflection,
its crated scape shows no recollection
moving to another dimension.
we accumulate guilt with no abstentions

Some come to see a fantasy,
others cloak themselves in vanity….
and worship the satellite cycle of sanity
chances are, you're on a ride to profanity

with elder statesmen expressing the appalling
facts on mother earth are constantly galling
that is the trip we repeatedly take,
its rotating moments are not fake.

[This message has been edited by ecrivan (01-20-2002 02:20 PM).]

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

1 posted 2002-01-20 02:41 PM

WOW!!! I just find the moon romantic and dreamy...and it helps me to feel the visions of my fantasies...this poem is very interesting and gives much to ponder. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-01-20 02:45 PM

(sigh) Soooooooo beautifully said, sweet friend, I love the moon and both see it as a symbol of true love through fantasy's eyes and a wonder of light through reality! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is gorgeous! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martin, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

3 posted 2002-01-20 06:44 PM

I would like to read this in free verse...

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

4 posted 2002-01-20 07:48 PM

Hello Irish,

I actually thought I would be forcing the rhyme, let us see what I can do here at my workshop

Thanks Noah and Startime

for your feedback, I wanted to reveal the moon's power as something more than just a glow in the night

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

5 posted 2002-01-20 11:11 PM

I agree with Kay on this one, Martin...Its good as is, but would be much better in free verse.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

GenXer
Senior Member

since 2001-12-15

Posts 583
USA

6 posted 2002-01-21 10:48 PM

Nicely penned Martin. I too curse like a sailor because I worship that blue moon.lol

Dave

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

7 posted 2002-01-22 12:42 PM

this a deep poem, more deeper than i thought

Thanks all for the suggestions.

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