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Morcastlin
Member

since 2002-01-14

Posts 244
The Jersey Shore, USA

0 posted 2002-01-18 11:14 AM

So long the hurting and the hating
Hurried, hissing,... worried, whimpering
Always wishing, always waiting
for the beast to show his face
All the panting, all the pining
Praying,... preying, before the shining
beast starts slaying all night long
He will dance and sing and prance
Alive and strong
To the cadence of the song, his song
Now's his chance to dance till dawn.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-01-18 12:18 PM

this is a clever write of rhyme and word play...lots to see here...internal rhyme, alliterations,imagery, turn of phrase...I like the use vocabulary and homophones.
impressive work ...very well done

jm

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken ...
for handing you a heart worth breakin'

~nickleback~

HEG
Junior Member

since 2002-01-18

Posts 42

2 posted 2002-01-18 01:19 PM

Very well written! Very entertaining and clever read.

Cheers!
Harry

Silver Streak
Member Elite

since 2002-01-02

Posts 3625
FL, USA

3 posted 2002-01-18 01:25 PM

Clever poem, indeed!

It is too bad that man strayed from God! It's more fun to love.

-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

4 posted 2002-01-18 01:28 PM

Excellent write.
I await more from you

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2002-01-18 01:29 PM

(sigh) I agree with Newell too; it is a shame to see man evolve away from the embodiment of Him and how in result we have struggled to establish harmony as a whole! (big hugggssssss) So very well-expressed, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Bonnie, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Morcastlin
Member

since 2002-01-14

Posts 244
The Jersey Shore, USA

6 posted 2002-01-18 01:45 PM

Thank you all for your supportive replies! I appreciate it! I am ever exploring different forms of poetry, I love every twist and turn of the written word. This one was fun to write even though it has a heavy meaning. ;o)
Thanks again!

Love,
Bonnie

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