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Open Poetry #18
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| Open Poetry #18 |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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Dirt, ash gray and gritty. Thick, sticky city batter spread - again. The panes, thrusting themselves against the grime, so devoted to blurring tomorrow and who am I to question the sky or run? Yesterday rides rubber into concrete flat! And I remember in photographs what it feels like to swim. What it feels like to have had a day. Door opened - Door closed. Today, is open. Open still, and I breathe sigh for that. For love and risk and daisies - see. |
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| © Copyright 2002 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
There were some moments here that were amazing! how the poem went from grime to daisies; from a potentially bad day to one with promise. What we see, is what we get, and its our vision to sift the magic from the silt. My best and a happy evening, ShadowRider |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Door opened - Door closed. Today, is open. Open still, and I breathe sigh for that. For love and risk and daisies - see. Ahh m'dear A, I love your ponderings. Tomorrow will be open too, you'll see.  hugs and love Maree [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (01-16-2002 11:49 PM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
SpitFire--Yes, I do see! Wonderful writing! |
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rebekah33 Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 140MD/NJ |
I'm still a little but confused, but I still enjoyed it a lot especially the last lines "Today, is open. Open still, and I breathe sigh for that. For love and risk and daisies" We can say I coulda, shoulda, woulda (courtesy sex in the city) but we have to seize the day and know we can change the present. And that last line..."for love, risk and daises" incredible. Thanks for sharing  -R. "So stop and love and dance and live and laugh until you cry" Edwin McCain |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I wish I still had the courage to write like this. Most incredible. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This sounds hopeful, I like that from you Be happy Sandra |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
SpitFire, Well done, I enjoyed the read. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Glad I am that I jumped in here today - my favorite has posted again... as usual... jwesley |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I liked the way your windows pushed "The panes, thrusting themselves against the grime, so devoted to blurring tomorrow" and then you come back with " Today, is open. Open still, and I breathe sigh for that. For love and risk and daisies - see." Nicely done, Alicia! Have an open year.  |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is an incredible write. there goes another picture!  Kathleen--(Kay) |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
liked it |
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Canuckster Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285New Mexico, USA |
This is an extraordinary poem. Very vivid and constantly surprising with the images and word juxtapositions. What a vivid poem! Well done! |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
This is doen well.Today is open and so are all of the tomorrows. Peaches |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
You always put so much raw emotion in your poetry. I like the way this started of with despair, but ended up with hope for today. Love your last line. This deserves to be bumped back to the top. If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
"Thick, sticky city batter spread - again." (see the poem I posted ... I SWEAR, A, I read her and sometimes I freakin' SEE you...) Who are you to question? Well, you've just as much reason as scientists who 'test' it all... who force it's blue and intangible luminosity into explanation... heh. but as if that makes much difference. But you are no less than the ones that dare to question everything... you are the more just, the more heroic, because you see, because you brave the inside and smear everything around you with it’s matter... with it’s sludge sometimes, but that’s okay... because it’s real. The 'see.' caught me... because it's a challenge, like "I DO still know the good in things.. look, LOOK!" but it's too quiet for confrontation... it's just a statement, a stalemate, a "There." ... Love and risk and daisies... I hope you're feeling them, A, and not just believing in their memoirs. Hugs, you. (internal)Peace. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Ooohhhhhh...I love the transition in your words, such grimy sorrow turning into fresh spring-like hope and renewal of hope! (kiss on cheek) I love it, sweet friend, this is wonderful! We all love you so much, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Spitfire - Life is a mixture of grey and light...the grime and the brilliance. Well done. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~I'm really taken by all of these generous responses. Goodness,... *ShadowRider, I like that handle and thank you for coming in and reading and leaving such a comment. Yes, it is our vision. Take care.*Maree, miss you ya know. Thanks girl. *Martie dear, thank you for reading and seeing. *Rebekah, I suppose confused comes with the territory, I do not write well, as it is often incomprehensible and always so personal that many cannot get in. You, have seen the eye of it though, and thank you, for that. *Duncan, I, am most thankful for your comment. *Sandra, ahh, it is. You be happy too! Thank you dear. *Seymour, thank you. For reading and finding some enjoyment in it. *J, I'm glad too, to see you. Favorite? my,...smiling. Oh, I saw the pic of you and your little one, sweet thing you two. Thank you. *Kacy, thank you for reading what I write and you have an open year too. I'm trying. *Kathleen, thank you! And yes, the pic had to go, at least for the time. Thanks again. *Vandana, thanks for reading! *Canuckster, wow, thank you! Really. *Peaches, yes and thank you much for coming in. *Tracey, thank you for reading and for all of those wonderfully filling things you've said. (when are you and Duncan going to doit again?) *EC, I sit here tongue tangled because _you_ see so much. To feel you underneath my words, my god. I can't explain what that does. And I am feeling the last line, to some degree, and striving to feel them even more. *Peace and hugs. *Noah, you, thank you for reading and all that shining encouragement you leave behind. Your heart, glows. *Chris, it is a mixture, thank you so much for reading! ~And, again, these thank you notes, will never measure up to what I feel inside. So know that your reading and comments mean much. *Peace. |
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