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Open Poetry #18
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sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C

0 posted 2002-01-16 10:23 AM


A long black veil hides her face
all alone in a dark secluded place
Yesterday the veil was in her closet
A perfect life and then she lost it

Thoughts as black as her veil
a prisoner of her own cell
Tears lost in her disguise
stealing the beauty of her eyes

She awaits the remover of this black veil
but time has hammered it down like a nail
A hidden beauty disguised and wasted
Unable to remember how a sweet kiss tasted

So she wanders the streets in her long black veil
Her ageing body growing weaker and fraile
On a dreary night with the veil still draped across her face
Her journey completed,the veil is lifted when she meets him at this resting place

© Copyright 2002 Stevie Houston - All Rights Reserved
OWG
Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 155
California
1 posted 2002-01-16 10:34 AM


SP....dug the iron bleak of this...and yet the hope of another side

well done

Morcastlin
Member
since 2002-01-14
Posts 244
The Jersey Shore, USA
2 posted 2002-01-16 10:43 AM


This had such a melancholy tone to it! Sort of sad and ponderous... I liked it very much!
It had a nice rhyme and flow to it. ;o)

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
3 posted 2002-01-16 10:50 AM


Stevie darling boy this is without doubt one of your utter best, the descriptive way of your lines is utterly superb darling boy. You really are getting to be soooooooooo good. The flow is utterly excellent.

I could see her wandering the streets. I love the whole poem but these lines are amazingly good

She awaits the remover of this black veil
but time has hammered it down like a nail
A hidden beauty disguised and wasted
Unable to remember how a sweet kiss tasted


Bravi Bravi Bravissimi


What can I say except this is utterly wonderful.


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1


N orth Carolina Girl
Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962
NC,USA
4 posted 2002-01-16 10:56 AM


Stevie,this was so good.I guess she wasn`t happy until she was back with the one she loved.



Love,
Mama


Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2002-01-16 10:58 AM




(tears fall down my cheeks) So very sad but well-written, sweet friend, this had me flooding in tears to feel the lost love of her heart, and I pray that she can soon find peace and hope for new love! (big hugggsssss) So sad but wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2002-01-16 10:58 AM


Sodpossom,
Well done, enjoyed the read.

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

7 posted 2002-01-16 11:31 AM


Sodpossom, this was so sad, and yet she does meet up with him in death.. this was a great write. floria
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

8 posted 2002-01-16 01:36 PM


what a moving poem, so sorrowful and yet.....the end is somewhat hopeful

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

True Reflections
Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143
Ohio, USA
9 posted 2002-01-16 01:43 PM


Stevie,
Come towards the light my son!
Turn away from the dark side Luke!
What a lifeless shudder this conjures in my mind. I like this poem very much, just surprised that you wrote something this dark.
One snow storm in North Carolina and the world gets turned upside down.

Roger

His Poet
Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750

10 posted 2002-01-16 03:03 PM


Stevie, dear sir, your poetry is stunning. This is one of your best that I've had the privilege to read. My mother-in-law fit this to a tee. I think the moment she closed her eyes in death were probably her most happy since she so missed her husband. Well done! Cheryl
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
11 posted 2002-01-16 03:07 PM


How heartbreakingly sad...sometimes the waiting is so very hard...in the end she was finally in the arms of the one she loved...that is the hope I saw in this poem. Very powerful and touches the heart deeply. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Sunset
Member
since 2002-01-08
Posts 80

12 posted 2002-01-16 03:22 PM


Very clear, concise images in this.  Excellent writing!
sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
13 posted 2002-01-16 04:41 PM


OWG

Thanks for reading and checking it out!

Morcastlin
Thanks for the kind words!

Marsha
Thanks!That really means alot coming from you!


sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
14 posted 2002-01-16 04:43 PM


Mama
She finally found piece and happiness.

Noah
Thank you for your kind words!

Seymore
Thanks for reading!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
15 posted 2002-01-16 04:46 PM


Dear sp,
This brought the song to mind so strongly, "She walks these hills in a long black veil, she visits my grave when the night winds wail" Good one.

Nan

sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
16 posted 2002-01-16 04:46 PM


Strbbux

We have to have that hope.

Irish Rose
Thats all we can hope for is a happy ending.

Roger
I don't know what has happen to me.Kind of scary.

Canuckster
Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285
New Mexico, USA
17 posted 2002-01-16 04:47 PM


Haunting images and feelings in this one.
sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
18 posted 2002-01-16 04:50 PM


Nan

Thats where I got the idea from.I'm a big Lefty fan!

sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
19 posted 2002-01-16 06:06 PM


Cheryl
Thank you so much!


sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
20 posted 2002-01-16 06:07 PM


Startime
I have known a few people like this and I can see their struggle.Thanks for reading!

sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
21 posted 2002-01-16 06:08 PM


Sunset
Thanks for the kind words!

N orth Carolina Girl
Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962
NC,USA
22 posted 2002-01-16 07:12 PM


Stevie,I just I would stop back by and read it again.


Love,


Mama

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
23 posted 2002-01-18 11:10 PM


Dear sp,
Right before I read this one I was listening to George Strait sing 'It's not right, but Lefty's gone'. That song makes me want to dance and cry at the same time. I wish I could write like that.

Nan

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