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Open Poetry #18
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Plucking Petals (Tanka)
| Open Poetry #18 |
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Plucking Petals (Tanka) |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
She holds the daisy He loves me ~ he loves me not What is the answer? Painfully she plucks the petals awaiting her destiny. Cheryl McClellan 1/15/2002 |
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| © Copyright 2002 His Poet - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
This is great. I wish I could learn how to write one. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Cheryl darling girl how utterly wonderful is this. This is fantastic writing, you are doing so well, and your writing gets better and better. Didn’t I tell you that you’d love it at Passions? I couldn’t be happier that you are doing so well, I always look for your name darling girl and try to get all of yours that I can. I know I miss a few but I try to get them sooner or later Fabulous darling girl utterly utterly fabulous Tanka’s are NOT at all easy and this is soooooooo well written   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy  To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Cheryl I hope the answer was good. love this little poem. floria |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, may that last petal be one that determines her love is true and eternal happiness will fill the rose of her heart! (kiss on cheek) I love it, sweet fridnd, you always write so beautifully! We all love you so much, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Cheryl, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Hypnosis Member
since 2001-12-02
Posts 325CO |
Obviously by the way you write, he does love you. Beautifully written tanka Cheryl! Randy Meador a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Cheryl, Your tanka is beautiful. It has been a pleasure to watch your artistry grow...just like the flower in your poem.  copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Oh, this one is good!! I hope she gets the answer her heart desires. I know waiting is no fun! All writing comes |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Cheryl - Ah, the old plucking of the flower to decide the fate of love. Very nice. I have plucked the flower before to see if someone loves me. What does it mean when in the middle of plucking the petals the flower goes up in flames? Dave |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
This is pretty! I like poems of this form. |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Chris, I had never even heard of Japanese poetry forms until last year. A tanka is 5 lines with syllable counts of 5-7-5-7-7. I love the challenge and beauty of the brevity. Thanks for reading. Cheryl |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Marsha, you are too kind. Thanks for reading and encouraging. Cheryl |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Floria, Thanks and I'm glad love is not really determined by petal plucking. Cheryl |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Noah, I'm sure the last petal held the right answer. Will we ever know which answer it was? CHeryl |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Randy, yes he does love me and I only had to pluck a dozen daisies before I got the right answer. Cheryl Lyra, what a nice thing to say. Thanks so much. Cheryl |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Lone Wolf, Thanks for taking time to read my tanka. Waiting is never fun because it means someone else is in control. I'm glad you liked. Cheryl Dave dear, it is a very bad sign when the flower goes up in flames unless it's a sunflower. They can't help it. Make sure you use silk flowers from here on out. They are fireproof. Cheryl |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Rose Petal, Thank you and I like Japanese poetry form too. Cheryl |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cheryl, A good one. |
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OWG Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 155California |
tankalot (grin) this was way cool lady...dug it one of my favorite forms of writing |
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SavedbyGrace Junior Member
since 2002-01-16
Posts 36MA |
Good going, Cheryl! I'm glad your flower plucking turned out well, even if you did have to go through a dozen daisies to get the desired answer!  I'm pleased to see you're sticking with the tanka format. I know you pretty much fell in love with it while we were on that OTHER website. Keep it up! Traci  "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast." |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent Cheryl....well done. Tanka for this one! ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Seymour, Thank you for reading. Cheryl |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
OWG, glad you enjoyed. It's one of my favorite forms of poetry too. Cheryl |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Hi Traci, Great to see you here. How do you know how many daisies I went through, huh? Glad you liked my tanka. I owe my love of these to the Iceman Danny. Cheryl |
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Nancy, you're welcome and thanks for reading. Cheryl |
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N orth Carolina Girl Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962NC,USA |
Cheryl,I don`t understand Tankas but I liked it.   Juanita |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed it |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
This is a very well crafted and beautiful tanka. I enjoyed it much! On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
I love this. peaches |
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SavedbyGrace Junior Member
since 2002-01-16
Posts 36MA |
How do I know you went through a dozen daisies? Cheryl darlin', I do read the replies as well as the poems! That's half the fun, ya know?  If you ever hear from Iceman, try to point him in this direction. I miss his wonderful poems and witty repartee. Here's a well-deserved bump for a poignant poem. Traci P.S. -- You might consider changing "Painfully" to "Longingly". The way it reads now, it sounds as though she experiences actual pain from pulling a petal. Unless, of course, that's what you were going for, in which case you should ignore this P.S. "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast." Eph. 2:8-9 [This message has been edited by SavedbyGrace (01-17-2002 06:16 PM).] |
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