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The Gentleman Test (Be Honest)
| Open Poetry #18 |
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The Gentleman Test (Be Honest) |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA 
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The Gentleman Test Question #1 A woman needs help, so you slow your car down. She's fixing a flat tire, in an elegant gown. What do you do? A) Do the job for her and refuse any pay. or B) Run over her boyfriend and steal her away. Question #2 A beautiful woman, from Avon, comes to the door. Your wife's not at home, she's gone to the store. What do you do? A) Say, "My wife is so beautiful, she doesn't need any help". or B) Invite her inside and get a makeover yourself. Question #3 You're in a fancy restaurant, with your lovely wife. When the well-endowed waitress asks if you see something you like. What do you do? A) Say, "I'll have the steak & a salad and some mashed potatoes". or B) Say, "Forget the food sweetie, I'll just take a couple of those". Question #4 You're on the escalator, behind a girl in a mini-skirt. She's looking very messy, with the dangling tail of her shirt. What do you do? A) Mind your own business and just let her be? or B) Tuck it back in, so no one will see. Question #5 Your girlfriend cooks a marvelous meal of stuff she knows you're lovin'. For hours, she's been slavin' and cookin' and wrestlin' with the oven. What do you do? A) Wait until she's seated and let her be served first? or B) Take all the best pieces and leave her with the worst? Question #6 You come up to a door, you see some women, following a few steps behind. If you hold the door and let them go first, they will take your place in line. What do you do? A) Open the door, smile and say hi! Let them pass on through? or B) Open the door, smile and say ha! I'm still in front of you! Question #7 You're lying in bed, you're out of breath, sexually satisfied. The woman beside you, is still unfulfilled, waiting for the fun to arrive. What do you do? A) Caress her curves, touch her spots, make her body quake? or B) Say thanks, roll over, fake a snore, pretend you're not awake? This was a test, to see if you would pass. Are you a true gentleman, or are you just an *ss? If you answered 'B', to a single question above, You are the derriere, that the women all speak of. Roger |
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| © Copyright 2002 Roger Long - All Rights Reserved | |||
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His Poet Senior Member
since 2001-12-18
Posts 750 |
Lordy Roger, forget all the questions but the last. That's the only one you have to get right. |
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Hypnosis Member
since 2001-12-02
Posts 325CO |
Oh this was just too easy my friend! All A's for the answers indeed. Randy Meador a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (giggles) Oh my gosh, this is soooooooo clever and original, sweet friend, a questionaire poem, I LOVE IT!!! (smiles) The spirit of a gentleman shines in your loving heart, sweet friend, I pray that we can all take this test in the near future and get A+'s all around! (big hugggsssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, you are a delight to us all! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Roger, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
LOL.....I think this is you at your most hilarious, Roger! I especially loved the Avon Lady! Has she sold you any lipstick lately?  copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*giggling with delight* with a title like that who could resist this one. BRAVO!!! I love it and can't wait to read all the responses. **big hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
It was rare to get all "A's" on a test in school ... but to my surprise I have become nobody's fool. Your style and form is fitting of such a Gent, and I am proud to know what "experience" meant.  [This message has been edited by ctowen (01-15-2002 03:12 PM).] |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
Cheryl, I had to remove 3 of them because I couldn't pass the test and I wanted it rigged to make me look good. I'm a leg-a-holic so the mini-skirt question would probably be my biggest test. Randy, Haven't met a guy yet that admitted failure. Haven't met a woman yet that says this man exists. Noah, I'm such a gentleman that I stand on those mats at the supermarket so really light weight old ladies don't run into the glass thinking the door will open and then get squished. What a nice guy. Roger [This message has been edited by True Reflections (01-15-2002 03:21 PM).] |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
Lyra, Those lips are intoxicating and mesmerizing. The avon lady wouldn't sell me any lipstick but she kept letting me sample them while she wore them. I thought she had on really great blush, but she said she wasn't wearing any. Showed me a great new use for an eyelash curler. I bought 10. Startime, I like it better when you giggle, than when I make you cry. Wouldn't want ya to think I'm a heavy-breathin-heathen. CTOWEN, I don't think the women would like us if we got all A's. They wouldn't have anything to complain about or fix. Luckily my wife gets more projects than Martha Stewart. Roger |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Now...wait a minute...I think this test was written by a woman....cause it requires me to be a perfect gentleman...and an angel with no feelings of desire....WAIT...I think I am already there....must be at my age...or would I just be a dirty old man? This is good...liked it.. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
HAHAHAH fantastic and funny,,, I wonder how the men all did on this poem We women should know the outcome. LOL, floria |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Okay Roger, I need the answer key because I don't think I did to well.lol I am certainly not a scholar in chivalry, even though, I moonlight as a knight on the weekends.lol Thanks for the laugh. Dave |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
run over her boyfriend and steal her away LOL...too funny...I like this, it was cleverly done! Now how many of you men failed this test? be honest! RP |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Roger darling boy I really love this poem it is UTTERLY utterly fabulous. Yes I know I always say that but then you always write to utter perfecti I thought you could add this to your gentlemans test, but these questions are only for you You’re a married spud oh my goodness me I wanted to see just how far I could temp thee? How about if I wear my skirt split to my thigh Will that make you swoon, will it make you sigh? If I brush against you as I wander past Will that make your heart beat a little fast? Don’t tell me there’s no effect if I do this? Because Roger darling I know you love my kiss You’re a married spud and it’s such a shame Isn’t it a pity that you’ll never hold my flame? I wonder what you’d do if I whisper come to me? Would you start to tremble would you be shaky? If I asked you nicely come and dance do Would you say I can’t, I don’t know how too? If my hand brushed lightly on your thigh Would you Roger darling heave a mighty sigh? It's a good job you know the answers darling boy Big smile I thought you'd like a little wenches heat. You know that this is utterly wonderful don’t you, the flow is just perfect Thank you for this wonderful poem it’s utterly utterly wonderful and again into my library with you As always Mushy   To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I answered each one honestly I failed the test, as you can see I also laughed the whole way through But I'm no gentleman, it's true But I sell Avon (only kidding) LIz |
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C? Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 190 |
hehehe, very clever! |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
Magnus, Dirty old men need love to. I was once told that I must walk a thin line to even think of the 'B' answers. It's a crooked line. strbbux, First the man would have to be honest enough to give his true score. If he's not a gentleman, then he would lie. So you have the real gentlemen that got all A's and the fake gentlemen that lied about getting all A's. Either way they all got A's, so the test is flawed. Sigh............. GenXer, An honest man makes for a good knight. Women like us flawed as long as we are honest about it. So your white steed has a few spots on it. No one can see them when you are riding off into the sunset. Roger |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
RosePetal, I'm teaching my sons to be real gentlemen. They hold the doors open for people and say thank you and please and bless you when you sneeze. All this and they don't even like girls. Marsha, Oh, temptress divine, Thy chills climb my spine. I'd gladly thee bed, But my wife'd see me dead. Your heat is amazing, Keeps my briefs ablazing. As a married spud I cannot, For I have tater tots. But feel free to fashion, Lots of heat, lots of passion. I will honor this gold band, But you make me glad I'm a man. Roger |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
Liz, As my new and wonderous friend, There is one thing I recommend. This test really works the best, If one is blessed with hairy chest. So if you failed so miserably, Maybe you should shout with glee. For if you had received all A's, Many questions would it raise. C, hehehe, sounds like man times three. One is enough, for most of the stuff. Only the wenchy dame, of Kent would claim, As love advisor, three's an appetizer. Roger |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
First, I love the picture!!!!!!!! This??? ha ha boy, I could have written it.... Kathleen--(Kay) |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
Kay, The picture came in my last wallet. Thought the kid was cute. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Roger |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Bravo! |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
well, i'll admit failure - but i disagree with one of the questions. i would hold the door - but i don't buy that they'd get in line first - they would not either, and you won't convince me it's to their benefit to get there first - it will actually take less aggregate time if i go ahead and get through the line and out of the way  -Dave |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
Sunshine, I bowed. Noticed a stain on my shoe. Fell over trying to wipe it off. Hit my desk and spilled my pop all over my keyboard causing a fire and causing the sprinklers to go off and wash the stain off my shoe. Strange world. Dave, That is the most unique username I've ever seen. The line question is most perplexing. Depending on the purpose of the line, one could argue that holding the door was self-serving and not a gentleman gesture at all. I'm rubbing my chin beard stubble in an inquisitive manner. Oh, and saying Hmmmmmm. Roger |
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mauddib Member
since 2002-01-12
Posts 119melbourne australia |
I got B's on all my exams I was never an A grade student I would study all hours stuff and cram Now I know why women think me a sham! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hey...thanks for the smile!! |
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sodpossom Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723N.C |
Roger My friend,I have failed again!Very humorous! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Roger, I've just discovered when it comes to gentleman I'm a b average student. No wonder I cant pick em and no wonder I end up with a be average man. as for the Avon...don't knock em they come with their own knockers...for when the bell is broken of course. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Well now, at number one, if my boyfriend was making ME change the tire in a gown...well I'd want someone to run him over and take me away!!! Very cute write, and a lot of very valid points here. I must admit, I'm a sucker for a true gentleman If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
mauddib, Be careful when cramming. Wouldn't want something vital to get pushed out the other side. Martie, It's the one thing that I like to give away. Stevie, If you need a cheat sheet, it will cost $2. Keep trying though. Roger |
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True Reflections Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143Ohio, USA |
Kethry, You're swimming in the wrong pond. That's the ones with Sharks and jellyfish. You want the one with humpbacks and starfish. Ding Dong ladies with their own knockers, In our neighborhhod it's support hose and walkers. (This is not in any way a slap at those that enjoy the comfort provided by hose of a supporting type, or those that use walkers to help them stay upright). Tracey, This is true. A true gentleman would run over the boyfriend and steal the girl, but only if the car belonged to the boyfriend. No wonder ladies have trouble finding true gentlemen. They don't stick to a standard code of conduct rating. I knew it was the women's fault.  Roger |
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