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Open Poetry #18
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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2002-01-14 07:58 AM



Betrayal

Sometimes I write poetic phrase
Invisible to sunny days
For it remains within the fold
Of paper dreams I’ve never told

Like scrolling on a page of white
With ink of purest snowy white
It’s there , but yet remains unseen
Like crystal waters, clear, pristine

Would I allow my heart to float
Upon the sea on sailing boat?
Would I allow my dreams to reach
The sand dunes of a silver beach?

I hold the intimate and dear
In selfish lust, unknown, unclear
To others who would dare to peek
And into poet's chamber creep

But then somehow the magic pen
Betrays the trust of life long friend
And turns the ink to midnight black
More ebon than a raven’s back

And there it is , exposed to all
The secrets of the mind’s recall
The dreams I’ve dreamt, though worn and old
Carved into letters, grand and bold

There is no use to place your pride
In masquerade of sheepskin hide
Another poet comes along
And knows the lyrics to your song

You may as well write from your heart
Let all the pain and joy depart
For there are many who will read
And recognize the flower’s seed

Elziabeth Santos

© Copyright 2002 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-01-14 08:43 AM




(smiles) Soooooooo very well-said, sweet friend, I believe it takes  alot of heart to write our most intimate secrets we hold dear, and when we do, it may seem like we betray ourselves, but as time goes on and compassion is brought before us, then we are so happy we made that bold step! (big hugggsssss) Sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, we all love you so much, this is fabulous! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Elizabeth, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-01-14 08:59 AM



...and recognize the flower's seed...

Oh Elizabeth....

Canuckster
Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285
New Mexico, USA
3 posted 2002-01-14 09:07 AM


This captures the tension that many no doubt feel.  There is in writing always a temptation to study the art and develop techniques which may result in technically superior work but lack the spark of passion that should drive a poem.  I wrestle with this myself often.

If anyone else has solved it, let me know.  I agree with your conclusion that ultimately it must come from the heart.

I also know that, no one wants to read writing when it is written rotten.  

The poem itself is masterfully crafted with perfect cadance and rhyme.  It's almost ironic as the poem itself stands in testimony of the need for skillful craftsmanship, which seems lightly in conflict with the message of the poem.

Good work.

never try to teach a pig to sing
it wastes your time AND annoys the pig

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
4 posted 2002-01-14 09:08 AM


What a pleasure this is to read first thing with my cup of tea!! Lovely. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2002-01-14 09:57 AM


You are one of the few people I know who can turn out stunning poetry
on a regular basis.  You have blessed all of us and in your own quiet, graceful
way have given so unselfishly of your talent.  Thank you, Liz.

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

True Reflections
Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 143
Ohio, USA
6 posted 2002-01-14 12:58 PM


Elizabeth,
Do you talk like this in real life? You must think in rhyme, because you are too good to bring it out only when you are writing. I am bowing to your greatness. Ok, I'm now taking aspirin because I forgot my keyboard was there where I bowed. I'm seeing stars and there is one very bright one in the middle, that must be you.

Roger

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2002-01-14 01:34 PM


You may as well write from your heart
Let all the pain and joy depart
For there are many who will read
And recognize the flower’s seed

Your pen may indeed betray your secrets... but it does so with beauty and reaches straight into another's (my *S*) heart. This is exquisite, Elizabeth.

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2002-01-14 01:57 PM


Your writings have touched my heart so many times with that pen's betrayal.  It is easy to recognize the seed that planted the words, but it is that same poetry that also plants a seed of healing in the same place in others.  I too must say, there is no one that consistently writes beautiful thought provoking poetry that goes straight to the heart like you do Elizabeth.

~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~

peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
9 posted 2002-01-14 03:57 PM


Thank you Elizabeth for reminding me.. sometimes I've forgotten that I love poetry for just the reason that it has always been therapeutic for me.  I find it easier to express what I'm feeling deep inside through my poetry than to actually tell someone in words..

you do it very, very well

Hugz,

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
   Percy Bysshe Shelley

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

10 posted 2002-01-14 03:59 PM


Elizabeth, I am so happy you are not using white ink,,then I would never be able to enjoy your wonderful words in poetry. This is wonderful. floria
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