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Open Poetry #18
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ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state

0 posted 2002-01-11 11:37 PM



Think that bottled messages still float,
that people, too shy to expose themselves, write
cryptic notes stuffed through bottle necks?
Wait, we are all on deserted islands...
each with one token palm tree swayed
by ocean breezes and tides forever churning.

"I left my suntan lotion at home",
said an albino man looking for a quick scorch;
"I left my sunglasses at the dispensing optician"
his nearsighted cohort blurted out,
amid a deafening call of gulls.
Exposing themselves, both were blind to witness
tidal waves climbing in the distance,
sysmic activity beneath the ocean floor
moving sharks to waters they never knew;
as our lame heros continue to vex for their perscriptions...

In the meantime the world would carefully fold
final notices into a wine bottles of dark glass
not the threats of death that we would expect,
and sent them afloat to shores
of desterted islands like this one...
with albinos and unspectacled gents.


© Copyright 2002 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
1 posted 2002-01-12 01:17 AM


quote:
cryptic notes stuffed through bottle necks?


great image! .... i didn't read the first draft but this one, i'm telling you, is really cool writing and i'm saving this to read it again a few times.... you got it goin' on here!! seriously...

sending you a link

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2002-01-12 01:19 AM


ummm damn
you don't have an email address so email me and i'll send you a link

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
3 posted 2002-01-12 07:25 AM


Martin, always you amaze me with your depth of understanding about life.
Write on
Keth

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

4 posted 2002-01-12 11:56 AM


Great story here Ecrivan, messages in a bottle. wish I would get one, I would love to find one. floria .
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #18 » Message In A Bottle (edited and reposted)

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